haha, i believe justin & i have thoroughly embarrassed/distracted john liao now =)

day 311

that extra hour of sleep today felt so good =) and, that’s probably why more people came to church on time :P and this morning, it was so uplifting to sing the lyrics: “your love is strong,” and the day was pretty exciting. since it was the first sunday of the month, we had communion and during sunday school, we had our journal prayer. and i guess what was really on our minds was the fact that the welcome night was just 5 days away! gosh, i think we’re ready though, and we again prayed for the event =) oh and josh was interested in seeing my pokemon powerpoint from bc splash, so that was fun sharing with him :P

after church, my sisters and i went shopping at target to buy some supplies. i saw that sims 3 was going for just $20! so we snatched that up, and also got a lot of showering supplies… geez, i’m so glad i controlled myself or else i would’ve bought more shampoo and body wash, despite having more than enough! and, my sisters convinced me not to buy toy story 3 body wash… because i think it was for kids… even though it didn’t explicitly say so! it just smelled like berries…

returning home, i did some work, took a nap, did laundry, and ate dinner with the chens! my parents brought back lao sichuan, so it was a nice meal shared between two families. then, my dad brought me and karen back to bc, and after i situated myself and reorganized some stuff, i headed over to justin’s place to record this. first, a huge fail with facebook video, as it either messed up as we recorded our actual video or it just would display an error when we posted it. and even stranger, some of the videos that it said had an error, got posted on john’s wall… LOL. so that is why he has two videos of me and justin randomly frowning. and then we recorded with imovie, and things worked much better! after a couple tries, we finally got our cover of officially missing you down, and then we had to hurry over to lower for liz’s birthday! yeah… we were a bit late, but she was still there, and we got to eat cake =) 

and, then back at the room… i’ve become lazy :P i do want to sleep… but i just drank tea. and started eating snacks… so i guess i’ll have to do more work :/

day 301

whew. my dad picked me up after going through lots of traffic to get to the airport… and he sent me back to BC. that was really nice of him :) and i was able to give him my suit to clean because of that oil accident :/ and some pork buns from ding tai fung! :D

i then slept for an hour or so, and then got ready for calc at 11. went to my class at 12 as well, and then headed back to my room to chill. justin came over so we watched glee as we ate ramen :) then i proceeded to decrease the entropy in my room… by washing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, and the scariest of them all, cleaning the bathroom! wow that was exhausting, but i felt… on top of things :P

i managed to get some minor stuff done, then i headed off to hillside to grab dinner with steph. gosh, this week felt so strange because i really didn’t spend much time on campus… so it seemed as if i hadn’t seen people for a week! what a weird feeling. well, ryan joined us, and we talked a lot about highrock retreat. then, i decided to go study with steph at the ERC! i like finding new study places… and this was definitely very low key. the chairs/desks were nice and welcoming, and i think the best part of finding new places to study is that… nobody else knows where it is! so, nobody fights for your seat :P but the sad thing is that it can’t accommodate my study schedule… as it closes at 10. so we headed to oneill, and i thought since the first floor would prohibit cell phone service… i’d be able to get lots of work done. that sort of happened. haha. we had a study party with jeannette and sam lee :) i managed to get my studying done at a reasonable time… and left before 2. 

whew, i need to rest this weekend. i want to recover from my sickness asap, and i want to be able to get a lot of things in order… gosh i hope i am ready for this midterm!

day 291

i feel very much at peace… :) though i can feel a cough coming and it’s almost 4am! oops…

first day back in class after kairos felt like business as usual. i definitely needed to take a nap because even though i didn’t physically do much over the weekend, i didn’t realize i was more drained than i thought i’d be… i did go to all my classes, and then had a quick lunch with justin before heading back to my room. i think i spent a lot of my time “catching up” with tumblr/fb/blogs, and i can’t believe i’m still not done… this could possibly be unhealthy, because i keep thinking i need to check everything!

well, when 5:30 rolled around, i decided to start preparing dinner, and i invited justin and dan over :) justin helped grill while i decided to cook a new dish because my dad gave me the ingredients: celery & tofu. i had to call my mom just to make sure how to do it, and overall, i think it turned out alright… it was gone at the end :P we had some meat from hmart, and some other dishes from a restaurant, and we also ate with my roommates. that was a good dinner :D

then i headed off to shaw for the seminar, and it felt so strange because it had been a couple weeks since i last saw the freshmen! father mcnellis spoke, and while i have yet to visit him in gabelli since he’s my peer minister, i realize now that i want to stop by and chat with him! he spoke about ethical leadership, but he focused more on whether leadership could be taught… and he believed it couldn’t be. his examples kept centering on the fact that certain individuals when pressured to act in the moment, rose above expectations…that their character and habits allowed them to instantly choose the higher path even though the status quo was simple and such a decision would not be looked down upon. so for instance, he talked about how when BC won the championship, one of the captains immediately went over to the band and thanked them. you know, simple stuff like that…and while this may not possibly be ethics in the strictest sense, i found that so helpful as a reminder to constantly develop good habits that will speak for me in times of distress. furthermore, he talked about making sure that we want to become better people after graduating, not just having a major or being secure in a job… all that is secondary. and, lastly, he touched upon the dating scene at BC, how women should expect more from men, and that men should aim to be good husbands and fathers, especially fathers. fathers who are responsible… because this change in culture has allowed irresponsible men get away with more stuff and hide under the advocation of female liberation. wow, so much of that resonated with me… because i could see it played out… and i definitely took a lot out of it!

after the seminar, we had a quick council meeting, and then i headed over to the library to study with justin and dan! surprisingly, i was very efficient with my time. i set out my goal to send out emails for shaw and respond to other ones, and then i used the rest of my time to study. not bad, if i do say so myself because i managed to finish at 2… oh, i did do this with the help of some sweet tea & snacks =) finally, justin and i headed back, and we had a good heart to heart talk about dating….i think that really put me at peace, being able to talk with a good friend, and i guess because of kairos, reflection came a bit easier for me than usual. there was some really good words of wisdom, and i definitely needed it :)

so, i’m not really sure if i have a “kai high” because the only obvious change for me is that i hug more. and i know that will fade… because that’s happened to me on another retreat… yet, i don’t think my mindset will change, and i think that’s more important, because i’ve slowly been developing the habit of love. so, it’s still a work in progress, but i think i’m getting better at it!

day 265

morning started smoothly. after my first class, i met dan and liz (i think this may have been the first time i’ve seen liz since summit…), and then dan came with me to check out cushing because i needed to check out the room accommodations for a seminar. it wasn’t particularly great, and but as the nursing school, i found it very interesting how i could only find the ladies bathroom… sure, there’s only like a handful of guys in the program, but what if i needed to pee?!

then, dan and i had breakfast together. physiology was very fun… i’m not sure how much i’m always learning… but it’s always very enjoyable to go through it with justin, dan, & tiffany. =) dev bio was not the same… the quiz she said would be very easy… was not at ALL. sure she’s nice, but her description was very misleading, and i originally thought i overstudied, but it felt like i didn’t study all the right things! gosh, that was frustrating… i hope the class gets better though.

after class, justin and i headed back to my room to watch glee! what an AMAZING first episode :D even i was taken aback at mike chang’s amazing abs :P possible even jealous?! but goodness, there’s SUCH drama in that show. but i guess that’s why i find it so funny to watch :) oh and i find nothing wrong with two guys watching glee…. err

after glee, i got ready to play tennis! today was such beautiful weather, and i wanted to take advantage of it. so, after much “coercion” i managed to convince steph to play tennis… and so we met in front of lower with susan, and we first proceeded to st. more hall. sadly, this was probably the first time i’ve ever been in there! it was pretty cool to check it out and we were there for susan to pick up her work forms… BC catering!

then we headed to steph’s place because she didn’t change for tennis… but it was good because i never knew where she and her roommates stayed off campus. it wasn’t too far of a walk, and i really liked their kitchen! but… the living room set up is MAD ghetto, lol… so steph got ready for tennis, and we finally headed back to campus with liz. we managed to catch the bus going into campus! however, when we arrived at the plex, we realized that we were 40 minutes late… and our court reservation for 5 was automatically forfeited if we did not check in by 5:15… oops! haha, i think i heard a sigh of relief from steph…. that was a bummer for me though :/ well, i couldn’t do anything about it, so we decided to head to dinner at hillside. we chatted and got to talk with heena! oh and we saw diane creeping. LOL. i mean she saw us from outside…i guess despite the lack of actually playing tennis, the adventure was fun. lots of exploring! so, that was exciting and i want to try to always look at the positives instead of focusing on the negatives… but hopefully, we’re able to play next time. and i think i’ve found lots of other potential players too after telling everyone about this story! this will definitely keep me accountable in exercising, which i dreadfully need!

hung out with the boys at 90, found miley! and then headed back to my room for survivor! then, it was time for concept mapping, and we got that done SO quick! i am so impressed. haha, i think after the initial one, we got a good grip on it, and things just clicked :) i then spent the rest of the night at the library… as usual. i took a nap though, and i woke up with my arms and legs numb… what a weird feeling! haha, but i managed to get everything done, and it seems as if i can identify the “regulars” at the reserves. i seem to see pegah & fran here all the time. and many asians :P (i guess dan should’ve been here too!)

but gosh, i sleep too late…. and i need to compensate my body :/ oh and, not necessarily a bad thing… but i notice that i do spend my time with many of the same people, and so i want to make a conscious effort to meet new people, whether it’s welcoming the freshmen, or developing deeper relationships with friends that are currently sustained by the occasional hi.

day 244

justin’s birthday is on the 2nd! ok.

today was such a struggle to wake for prayer meeting, but it was totally worth it! manuscript study was better, probably because i contributed! service projects went really well, but i guess we took one of the easiest jobs…but everyone thought that it would suck cleaning bathrooms…. role reversal! our team consisted of jae maeng, dan kim, alice ma, connie bahng, and someone else… haha. we finished SO quick (like 1st!) while others took forever to finish, and young trick his group into thinking that the water front would be easy… but it was CLEARLY not. that weed pulling in the water looked so difficult. i went to gig training after, instead of swimming, and i guess it was worth it? i napped a bit… 

prayer was interesting, as we thought about how to design interactive prayer rooms and we prayed for kaitlyn and the worship team. at the end, we prayed for kristen, and it was awesome!

worship & prayer & campus time was alright. we also went over acf praise team stuff. i just thought that while it was all good… sometimes i randomly felt disconnected. probably because i kept staring at the stars to be reminded of my insignificance, and the beauty of god.

later, justin and i jammed a bit and then went outside for smores! gosh, i feel dumb for staying up so late… i hope tomorrow ends well.

day 240

gosh what a long day! headed out to BC in the morning with the minivan packed of all my stuff. my dad helped me, and we managed to get it all in pretty quickly. got to BC around 11, and picked up justin and eugene to help me! well, i didn’t expect eugene because i totally forgot he lived with justin in the summer :P, so… i didn’t have any seats for him but he managed to find room within the clutter in the car, haha. we went to gabelli, and moved things in pretty efficiently. but those flight of stairs were kind of annoying…

anyways, the real test came when we had to go back to the apartment to help justin & eugene move into their place in gate. wow, eugene kim/his friends and eric had SO much stuff left over at the apartment and we had to move all of it out before the lease expired! so, after like 3 hours or so and three trips from the apartment to BC and countless trips from packing/unloading the car, we moved… most of the stuff. and john byun helped us out too! it was a tiring but fun experience :) oh and we got to see a lot of people because it seemed like everyone was moving in for summit :P or at least, most of them were. and some were there for ugbc. meh. anyways, i was glad i had my minivan so i could help them move because there was just SO much stuff! it would’ve been a nightmare trying to pack everything in a regular car! haha, we were pretty exhausted after that move, so we finally got lunch around 4:30 at the new pizza shop across the street. it was a LONG wait, but delicious indeed! we got this potato bacon cheese pizza, and it was very food coma-inducing :P oh and, justin paid for me because of all the help with moving, so i was very grateful :)

after lunch/dinner, we met the core people and young before they headed off to mako’s, then we went back to justin’s apartment to let jae maeng take stuff for his apartment, and then we dropped off stuff for susan baik at her place. moving this stuff was MUCH easier since it was just like a bed and dresser. 

finally, after doing all this, i decided to go back to gabelli and arrange my stuff. i noticed that there was some people talking next door in 307, and when i knocked, andrew, james, and mark were there! and so we chatted a bit and i brought them over to 308 to see if there were any differences… but the rooms were basically mirror images :P. then i had some time to myself to organize the place, but after unpacking a couple boxes, i realized it was almost 8! so i headed back home, got some work done, and now i feel pooped… but i’m excited for tomorrow because of summit! gosh, there’s so much work still to be done?! too much time wasted on youtube tonight, hahaha.

day 180

wow 180 days have passed! at least today, i can proudly say i was productive :)

ok well, i woke up late. :/ i don’t even remember turning off my 8am alarm, but when my dad woke me, it was already 845… so i had to call in to say i would be coming late. dropped my dad off at church so he could do some work there, and headed off to BC. i left home around 915 hoping to get there at 1015, but in the end, with parking at the beacon garage, i didn’t make it to gate until 11 :/ but finally, i got settled in and started reviewing the apps for the shaw freshmen :)

started getting hungry, and made plans with sam lee, justin, and young jae to go eat lunch. after working on the apps for an hour, i headed down the C line with them in my car and we decided to look around coolidge corner for food. i was so surprised to see a friendly’s where there used to be a qdoba, so we decided to go there :)  the menu was a bit awkward, as they offered a “happy ending,” but me and sam realized it was a good deal so we went for it. so you could say… the cashier gave us two happy endings… but let’s not go there. especially since the cashier was a guy.. ok anyways, we then bothered justin and young to get them too because while a drink cost 1.89, a happy ending was just $2 with both a drink and a sundae! and they STILL didn’t get it… oh well. the burgers we ordered we delicious, and i got sweet potato fries! YUM. and the ice cream was so worth it, although i was too full so justin ate it… haha. guess he didn’t need that happy ending. and it was fun to see what everyone was doing for summer, and what they did so far. and it was interesting that sam and young hadn’t met, though sam had heard of young because he was a TA for some camp i guess. what a coincidence! :P 

we headed back to BC, and i worked more on the apps, finishing them by 4. headed to the pre-med office to be reassured that i was on the right track and that i wasn’t missing anything important, and i was told that i was worrying over the small things. so i should be ready! ok… looks like i’m pretty much done with the app then :D a couple edits tonight, and i’ll proofread tomorrow… OH BOY

got caught in traffic as i headed back home, and i didn’t make it home till 530. the problem was that the church dedication banquet started at 5:30… so i had to rush changing into my suit (LEGENDARY!) and got everythign ready. and throw everything in the car. and i found out that kavin had stayed at my house the entire day, hoping that i would come home earlier to play me in TF2 because his mom had dropped him off to go decorate the church…but obviously, that didn’t work out :/

made it to scupper jack’s where the banquet was held, and it was kind of awkward. i guess since we were late, we had to sit in the “overflow” chairs which were outside of the main dinner room. it felt like all the “important” people, i.e. pastors and such, were inside, but after i got over that, i was really disappointed in the baked fish. possibly because i never eat fish that has been baked, or it was really bad. the taste made me feel funny, and one bite was enough to satiate any previous hunger pangs. ugh. at least the key lime pie for dessert was good :P

after banquet, it was time for the dedication ceremony! and walking into the church, it was so surprising! all the decorations were up, and the place looked DECKED out! people from all over the place were coming in, asking for tours, and looking around, and i quickly made my way to the sanctuary to set up my electric. the food display looked AMAZING, and i was just in awe of all the preparation it took (and there was SO MUCH of it, especially the week leading up to it with people coming in every day for many hours). it looks like it all paid off, and i’m so glad i took part in cleaning and painting the church and setting up the equipment. gosh, so there were balloons everywhere, and banners/flags up, and somehow, our main doors were changed from the previous owners name, corning, to “River of Life Christian Church in Boston” with our logo AND both English and Chinese on the doors. i wish i took a picture of it.

so, as people filed into the sanctuary, we began worship, and i was glad that john came to play drums. although i did feel bad that joseph didn’t get to play :/ for the most part, i think we did really well as a group, and the two fast songs in the beginning were great! (because i managed not to mess up, haha!) but, it was SO humid. i have no idea why it was like that despite the AC being on, but i guess air was just not flowing through the entire room, so as the set progressed, it got hotter and hotter on stage… ugh. i was so glad when it was over when we could step outside and cool down. at first, i was a bit nervous, seeing so many new faces (especially pastors…) but eventually, the thoughts of sweating took over, and it didn’t bother me as much. i just wanted to get out of there!

the rest of the ceremony went well…. i think. i decided not to stay because i wanted to see what the rest of the youth were doing. the guys got pink bowties :) and the girls got pink scarves. man, they looked LEGIT waiters/waitresses! actually, the girls looked more like airplane hostesses, haha. i bet they wished they were on korean air, so they could sing kpop songs… silly them. they did so much work (especially the girls) in preparing the foods/snacks for the reception at the end. the guys did more of the eating… haha. actually, some of the snacks were too “ugly” to present so they had josh eat it instead of it going to waste. there were fruit tarts, mochis (LOTS), sushi, and tons of other snacks, and everything looked so good! so impressed at what they were doing, and well we just hung out until john and i had to return to go play the response song.

after the response, FOOD! actually, i didn’t eat much, but i went around taking pictures with my new camera, and that was really fun, capturing the excitement of the crowd. as much as i was glad that all these pastors came to celebrate this occasion (especially those from the surrounding churches who originally did not agree with this church plant), i was more glad about the dedication of the workers who helped make this so great. i mean sure… the pastors speak blessings and such, but they just talk :P while the workers MADE it happen! ok, i’m not trying to discredit the pastors because the ones i know are great men and women of faith, but it’s always seems like the ones who put it together go unnoticed, so i want to make sure they’re acknowledged! like the live stream went without problems, the sound system seemed to be flawless, the food preparation was amazing, and the decorations all around and inside the church, were stunning!! the youth ended the night finishing a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne…and it tasted like bitter soda with a hint of grapes… meh. haha but it sure did look like everyone was underage drinking, and we pretended it was my 21st (which is on friday!) by popping the champagne bottle cork. haha. kavin was hilarious. i think the only downer was the fact that my sister had her camera accidentally dropped, and it started displaying a lens error. after googling it, i realized that it was most likely unfixable, or not worth fixing. or fixing could probably break it… well at least she’ll get a new one :P and so all three of us will have new cameras as we go to taiwan… haha. after packing up my guitars from the church and cleaning up the place, we headed back and by then, it was 11:30! NO WAY. it took that long?? but it was worth it i guess :)

whew. i feel exhausted. oh and i think that fish gave me diarrhea. i had lots of gas… and either being tired or nervous from playing on stage or the heat… probably exacerbated it. i felt very gassy and had to let it all out in the bathroom during the break… ok that was random. 

and so, even though i got a lot of work done today.. i have so much ahead of me! let’s see:

  1. finish dental apps
  2. shaw interviews
  3. book shaw retreat
  4. other shaw to-dos: calendar, seminars, speakers
  5. pack for taiwan
  6. finish taiwan materials
  7. call andrew about shaw
  8. send pastors to airport
  9. go to mall for last minute supplies

man, and i STILL haven’t had time to read over my previous days… 180 is getting unmanageable… oh boy.

day 130

sort of productive day. woke up a lot later than i thought i would… but i started studying at noon, got lunch, and proceeded to study more in my room. but, it is PRETTY cold. i didn’t realize it until i had to put on my sweatshirt. 

went to the shaw council meeting, and it was short. i have a lot to look forward to this summer, so that’s gonna be exciting. i hope that my expectation of “unifying” the shaw classes isn’t too ideal of a goal. we’ll see how that plays out next year…but i know if i want to see change, it must start with me!

handed in some financial aid forms late..and spent a good 10 minutes putting my eagle id on every single piece of paper. i think there were at least 50+ pages, but i definitely have my id memorized by now. actually, the sad thing is, i didn’t even bring in all the forms, so i need to get my parents to fill out a couple more…

did some more studying in young and justin’s secret room. tiffany found us though. haha. and we got some work done before heading off to acf family dinner!

when justin and i arrived, everyone was cooking…. yum :) the food smelled delicious as susie and sandy worked the grill while saeyoung was in the kitchen with tofu and soup. and nick scooped the rice while pearl, justin, and i watched. we were very good observers, to say the least. so much food though! i just kept watching susie grill more and more pork, and we amassed a huge tub of it…wow. (sorry, i don’t know any korean food names. but perhaps that’s good or else it’ll make everyone start salivating :P) we sat around the “living room” in edmonds 520, and as we ate, ayo finally came! and so our family was complete (minus jackie because she already left for france for an internship… BOOOOOOO) and i loved it. sitting around, sharing our rose, thorn, bud (like we seem to always do, haha), and enjoying each other’s company. it seems like our experiences this year have reflected how much we have grown. i think i was particularly impressed by ayo’s involvement at cornerstone and how he has encouraged us to become more involved in our churches to make it our own. how true, and that’s what i’m trying to encourage the youth at my church to do too. 

wow i’m having a memory lapse because i can’t seem to remember everyone’s roses, thorns, and buds… haha wow fail. but it seems like everyone’s looking forward to this summer because there’s just SO much to do… how vague, but i think a lot of people are staying here over the summer, and aside from that, of course, susie and saeyoung are graduating so their summer plans are really important in how they transition from school to the “real world.” and i’m really going to miss them. sort of. i think they’ve instilled their character, hope, wisdom and love in me in a way that i don’t think i can easily forget. an indelible mark perhaps? but, i think much of my bc experience has been influenced by this acf family, and i’m so grateful for this memory. i think it’s the group dynamic that just makes it so comfortable and welcoming. shoot, i can’t really remember my roses either. haha, it was kind of hard to keep track since sharing seemed to overlap in categories, but whatever! i think the relationships we’ve developed in this family have awakened a sense to create similar ones with other people on campus (and NOT necessarily acf kids). 

ok, well after that, the guys stayed a little longer….to talk. aha! nick kept making certain faces at saeyoung and susie when they shared, but they never mentioned anything…about a certain topic. so, ayo, justin, nick, and i started “speculating” about saeyoung’s girlfriend because “someone” told us! oh gosh, that conversation was hilarious, especially as yoobin and anna started joining in, and we made it SO obvious that there was just a freaking elephant in the room. i mean, a DINOSAUR. or a WHALE. i can’t tell which one is bigger, but it’s a metaphor. or analogy? whatever, nick was saying something like that. but saeyoung didn’t give it up! he’s so sly in staying quiet. he would just sit in the corner…and sit. and act emo. or wise. or both. i mean, he did close our meeting with some wise words, and just from his own experience, i think i’ve come to recognize the fact that my own plan for a career should not define my college experience… i may possibly be doing something else aside from dentistry, and i shouldn’t feel pigeonholed by such a realization. we’ll see, because in a sense, i don’t want to limit how god can work through me due to my stubbornness in being comfortable…whether that’s working at a well-paying job. or having material wealth. or living in a nice community…and i think just as important, susie closed the entire meeting with some remarks and a prayer, and it definitely brought closure to the acf family group experience as a whole. beautiful. i wonder what will happen next?

oh i DO know. because we had to leave edmonds, so as we left with saeyoung and susie….we FINALLY weaseled out this statement from saeyoung: i’m going out with susie. AHA. YESSSSSSSS. all the guys let out SUCH a loud cheer, ahahah. we knew it. though it did take some time for that to happen… so happy for them! though, that crosses some social norms, namely incest… ahaha owned. they were brother/sister as sophomores? and uncle/mother to me! woooowwww. owned. but that brought even MORE closure to the group, ahahaha. awessssome. i don’t know why i’m so happy.

and then i spent the rest of the night studying for physics. i’m not too worried, but then again, i’ve spent so much time on it, so i should be ready by now… we’ll see how it goes tomorrow. i can’t really worry about it anymore, so i hope i’m just able to try my hardest and be proud of my effort when i hand my test in…

day 118

a scary way to start the day. i promised jv that i would go to sleep early and DEFINITELY meet him for breakfast. and to my surprise, i overslept. NOOOOO. well i guess its partly due to the fact that i didn’t sleep early. i actually awoke at 7 but i think that was out of fear of oversleeping…oops. so as i dragged myself to lower half asleep and looked around at 930, i was so down-hearted because i missed my friend on his birthday. of all days….man this was not a good day. so i looked at the fruit. because i wasn’t really hungry. i just kept staring at it. and then i walked around. i was trying to figure out what i’d bring back to the room to eat, and i guess just shower and get ready to study for dats…but then! JV came! it was a godsend, haha. i was like, whoa. did you just get here? and he nonchalantly said yes. and then all that fear/nervousness (omg do i sound like a girl right now?) of breaking my promise to him faded. and so, i was able to buy him breakfast and we ate and talked. it was great. he admitted that he doesn’t seem any wiser than he did last year yet now he’s able to buy alcohol. how funny yet true. and we talked about what he was thinking of doing for his 21st, and he said he would be satisfied with just a dinner, yet ryan (lama) was all about doing it big! i.e. a rager party, foxwoods, strip club (i can’t tell if they’re joking…), but hopefully, justin survives his 21st. haha. 

after the talk, i realized i didn’t have time to study dats, so i took a shower with the BEST NEW BODYWASH EVER: Old Spice Swagger Body Wash, a true man’s body wash. actually, my description cannot do it justice, so you must view the ad that totally changed my life. i feel more like a man than i ever did. and, i used the old spice swagger deodorant, so SUPER COMBO ODOR BLOCKING FINISH! enough. i met with binh at hillside for lunch, and i learned that he’s going to china for 2 months for chinese! crazy! it looks like his semester went much better than the fall, and i’m really happy for him. i think he’ll really enjoy his time at bc, and it’ll only get better for him!

classes went by pretty quickly. i got caught saying random stuff in beethoven though. sometimes i dance and move to the “beat,” as in the motivic rhythms that organically grow into thematic transformations? and i hum along. or add some embellishments. anyways i got caught because i was moving my hands around like i was playing piano because me and justin were so impressed by prof. mcgrann’s ability to play beethoven without even LOOKING at his hands. what a beast!

i apologize for the ridiculously large amount of exclamation points, because i remember someone saying that a paper should only have 2 at most. or else, you lose the excitement that the exclamation mark brings. but, i’m not proficient enough to write with suspense and emotion and climax, so….that’s my justification.

after class, dat tutoring. so intense, but helpful. it’s such a pain to work around finals, so i think i need to supercram after finals. oh boy.

got dinner with steph at hillside and it was good. i like listening. but its hard to listen when you have to start talking. because it would be weird if i just listened and she asked a question….i dont think that happened. at least i can’t recall…eugene kim has a VERY green shirt. met dave, eric (dave’s friend from audio), toy-anna, kathy hon, and franklin. very cool. kathy and franklin went with me and steph to csa survivor, and it was amusing. though, it could be better organized. human tetris was funny, especially sam cho/christina han and hayeon/wes. eating icecream was meh. and the talent show was awesome! everybody danced to kpop music though…so conflict of interest? kisuk played guitar while anna kim sang, which was really good, despite the poor sound quality of the speakers… there were a lot of awws or oohs. the juniors were very unique by doing magic tricks. and they were pretty funny. though, i don’t know either kelly or maggie. katrina and josh’s dance was epic. sadly, i think josh danced better. he seemed…too into the dancing. haha. but very good choreography! sam cho and christina han are great at being awkward. like, sure you can be awkward, but you need technique to make it super awkward. like beyond words. and that made me feel comfortable. i dont know why. but gosh, i can’t believe sam got christina to rap in front of the entire group. how courageous of her! jinah and aj were all over the place in their dancing…all i understood was their insanity workout. and then, hayeon and wes… HILARIOUS! well, wes didn’t seem to put much effort but hayeon was actually dancing and it was great! it just made wes look awkward because he was just watching…i honestly think they have a thing. but that’s just me. ahaha. or is it too obvious for it to be true?…hmm.

so i left with kathy and steph during the “baby” drawing. because i dind’t really get what was going on. oh right, before csa survivor, dasom and sarang stopped me so that i could record a video for the seniors, but i had no brain power to think about what i could say for thanking the seniors, soooooi just said thanks. i think i need to redo it. anyways, after csa survivor, it was back to my room.

made a phone call. took a long nap…i was supposed to wake up at 9 but that turned into 10. physics hw with justin. oneill/bapst until 2. talked with some friends. and at the end of the day, i feel resolve. not necessarily what i expected. but not what i feared either. i guess i could see it coming, but i feel at peace. well, without disclosing more, i would sum it up like this: admitting something to a friend always requires trust, and it’s always such a blessing to have that trust returned. relationships are such hard work, but in the end, i think they’re always worth it. i wouldn’t have it any other way.