day 294

i did not sleep too well the night before… but when 630 came around, i was up! i took a long shower, and got myself psyched up for the day. actually, it was more like reflection and rehearsing answers to interview questions. when i got out of the shower, my breakfast came! except, it was weird because i had to accept it with just a towel since i had JUST come out of the shower… good thing it was a guy? uh. i had bacon, eggs, & potatoes with apple juice :) totally hit the spot. and despite feeling a cough coming on and lots of congestion, i felt like i could make it through the day. i got ready by 7:30, so i relaxed, looked over a couple more questions, and listened to brooke fraser to calm the nerves. i LOVE her new album! i’ve had to have played “Who Are We Fooling?” at least 50 times this past week… it’s so chillingly beautiful. but i think it’s about breaking up… doh. anyways, i posted the song recently, so i would definitely take a listen if you haven’t already… and buy her ALBUM! =)

i left the hotel at 8 and had plenty of time to spare when i arrived at the upenn dental school. i think in the meeting room, there was in total 14 interviewees including myself, and as always, the beginning was intimidating because everyone’s in suits (well the guys are… i’m not sure if suits are correct for girls… but the equivalent.) and i guess i have the habit of “sizing” people up. you know, to make myself feel more confident. a lot of people were from california and florida. two of notre dame… and one girl from northeastern! so, definitely an interesting mix. we went through introductions and info sessions in the morning, and one point made by the director admissions really struck me: “we care about people, not statistics.” i feel like that’s hard for upenn to say when their fact sheets show high mean gpas/dat scores, etc… but after looking over their information and talking with the students, i really believed it. and, it really resonated with me, because i’m hoping that i will continue to develop as a person in dental school!

we then took a tour around upenn, and the facilities were nice for the most part… the lecture rooms don’t have windows though… strange. and finally, it was time for my interviews! my first one was at 11, and this was with the assistant dean of admissions. it felt intimidating at first, but she was really nice, and i felt like i could just open up. i talked a lot about kairos, and developing as a person, and at the end of our short conversation, i felt that i had an opportunity to share parts of myself that weren’t on the application :) as soon as i got out of that interview, i was met with another faculty member, and we went to her office for the second interview! i kinda went over the same things because she had specific questions, but since it was more like an interview, i made sure to highlight examples that would answer the questions… and not just bs or something :P like, she wanted to know about my best and worst experience at bc, and i said kairos was my best experience, while the worst experience had to be the drinking culture because there doesn’t seem to be a compelling alternative. and, i also shared about my core group of friends in shaw, and how that’s allowed me to branch out and meet new people, especially people who i hope to stay friends after graduation :) and i think we ended with sharing about an example of feeling overwhelmed, so i told her about junior year and balancing everything, like physics, school work, studying, extracurriculars, relationships, church, sleep, etc. and i was able to maintain this by destressing through like guitar, journaling, and having conversations with people. so again, i felt very happy at the end of the interviews because i could share my story! =)

after the interviews, i really unwound…. we had lunch with a couple students, who were very helpful in describing the ups and downs of upenn, and i’m really impressed about how one guy came to upenn knowing that he wanted to be the best clinician possible. i think that’s my goal too… i’m pretty sure research isn’t for me. and he’s a family guy, and i think that’s something i resonate with too! after that, i took a self-guided tour of upenn, and the campus is BEAUTIFUL. i’d still say BC is more beautiful, but it’s under construction… :/ anyways, it’s a different kind of beauty because it’s so interesting how insulated it feels while being situated in the middle of a bustling city! that was pretty cool. and for the longest time, i thought this row of buildings belonged to a museum, but i figured out that they were housing! craaaaazy. 

seriously though, that does NOT look like housing… but another view of it actually reminds me of the new stokes hall that’s being built at BC… hmm.

upenn quad

vs.

bc stokes hall

haha maybe not.. i duno. after the tour, i went to go visit the bookstore, and it’s HUGE. i guess because it’s sponsored by barnes & noble, but it basically was a B&N store… with two floors and i was overwhelmed by everything they sold! bc bookstore could not compare. but, i realized that it was just as expensive :P so i just bought some thank you cards that i would use later, a card for my gajok daughter, rachel’s birthday, and a gift for my sister because i found some cool pencils! i didn’t want to buy a tshirt or something that said upenn… because what if i don’t get in? that’d be gg… haha.

anyways, being done with visiting upenn, i met up with nick & stella, and we hung out at their place, playing halo reach :P then we headed to koreana, and it had some amazing korean food! i couldn’t believe it: kalbi for $9! i think hmart costs $15… and it was pretty good :) that, and they paid for my dinner :D so i was very grateful. and full afterward, even though we ate a very early dinner at 4. the reason was because i had to catch the train back to the airport at 5… so they accommodated my schedule. we said our goodbyes as i took the bus to the train station, and i made it there a couple minutes late for the train at 5, but thankfully, i could catch the one at 5:30 and still make it an hour early before my plane left at 7:15. 

checking in and security was very quick, and there was like no line for security compared to the ones in logan! i waited at the terminal, and did some homework/reviewing. knocked out on the plane even though i planned on doing work :P after arriving at boston, i got on the silver line bus, went to south station, took it to park street, then took the B line to the star market at babcock… just to buy a birthday cake for rachel! i hope you realize that my gajok family is going to be the best ever!! anyways, i knew that the T would take forever getting back to campus, and i was already running late for a group meeting at 10… so i took a cab, and i was just $15 to get back to BC, including tip. i managed to get to BC around 10:30, changed/unpacked, and got ready to meet people at lower. thankfully, the project was mostly done, and i could just edit the rest later… so i headed off for rachel’s birthday. we met up at upper, and i’m so impressed that our entire family made it! it was kind of a fail at the beginning because we actually went into her room BEFORE 12… some freshmen were too antsy. haha. but, we sang happy birthday to her, justin oh used a lighter as a candle (so ghetto!), and then justin also caked her… haha. i guess since she’s now a ksa fresh rep, he gets to do that… that and he’s the grandpa of all gajoks. fine fine, i guess i must respect my elders :P oh the only bummer was that we never got to eat the cake! rachel is wayyyyy too popular, and there were so many of her friends there once we said happy birthday, so we just left and let her share the cake with her friends… bummer :/

a good night though, as the rest of us headed back down to lower. and now it’s time to study… i’m glad i did put some time into this exam already… but i hope i don’t stay up too late! i am also glad that i’m writing this entry now so i won’t leave it for the last minute and sleep even later! i think i’m gonna have to study more tomorrow and skip my 12pm class just to be safe. whew, i didn’t think i’d be THIS busy as soon as i got onto campus… but what an exciting day!

young’s black forest cake reminded me of this…because it’s all for the cake. though i’m afraid only gamers will even understand what i’m talking about.

young’s black forest cake reminded me of this…because it’s all for the cake. though i’m afraid only gamers will even understand what i’m talking about.

day 56

wow, i think i’ve finally finished everything on my checklist for this school week. it took a long time, but i’m glad it’s over.

i can’t remember too much, so i’ll start from the top. i woke up and met with mako at 1030. then i furiously studied for the last hour before the beethoven exam. while some questions were a bit iffy, i’m so glad that i knew all the listenings. too much info was crammed right before the test, so i thought i was bulimic. with knowledge. and facts.

i tried to talk to diva about my physics exam, but after 30 minutes, i didn’t really get anywhere. same thing with andrew. well, i understood his reasoning, so i guess i just got screwed over. oh well. looks like i’ll have to own the next exam.

my parents came to drop off a check for krup, and i got some bubble tea too! delightful. then i had dinner with nick tsaur, clement, and jv. it was coincidental that i met them all since i was studying physics at lower.

then i went to aj rafael. i reallllly liked it. it started off with kathie, and i liked her poem? pretty good, especially since she wrote it the day of. it was long too. props. then ruby came up and spoke her poems, and i really liked what she talked about. passionate and truthful. honest. and sincere. then came the act we were all waiting for! aj rafael and andrew. they started with a medley of hercules, little mermaid, mulan, and aladdin. i didn’t know many of his songs, so i was really glad when he played show stopper. i mean, of course he would! but still, it was really good. oh, and did i mention i somehow got front row seats? i came in 20 minutes late but i guess the people in front just left when i got there, so it was SO nice. my camera phone didn’t take good pictures though because there seemed to be glare or a strong reflection.

after aj, there was an open mic session, and there were some pretty talented people from berkeley playing/singing. i think they all knew aj since he went to berkeley for a year. tj was awesome. and amazingly tall. like a giant. and then, by the pressuring of steph and diane, i decided to take a chance and go up to the mic. steph’s reason was good: i got to touch his guitar. no that’s not metaphorical. i got to touch his guitar. but then i was bummed to learn that it wasn’t his guitar, but it was VERY nice. i didn’t recognize the headstock. i think it had a “C” on it. it played beautifully. i felt so nice, unlike other ones that i played…BUT i may have tactile bias, as … you know, this was played by aj rafael. but i remember playing it at first and really liking the tone.

anyways, stepping up to the mic was really awkward at first, possibly because that’s how i like to start it. then if i mess up (and i did), it’s less humiliating. (i think). i decided to play Until You because it’s dave barnes! and hopefully someone would’ve known it. i think people did. although not everyone, as people asked if that was an original. (I WISH, but words don’t flow so well with me) anyways, it was incredibly nerve wracking at start. i didn’t really recognize anyone, partly because i didn’t have my glasses on, and i didn’t realize there were so many asians i didn’t know. but i was still nervous. because there were people i knew. and aj. duh.

halfway through the song, i didn’t feel incredibly and overwhelmingly nervous. i think i blocked out the fact that people were there. and i could relax. it was fun. and then, part of me felt like i should’ve dedicated the song at the beginning. that possibly could’ve been romantic, but i decided not to. because i wasn’t sure if i could remember all the words to the song. whatever.

actually, i think i felt the worst right after playing. it made me REALLY self conscious and i was all jittery. so i kept shifting in my seat. but all in all, it went pretty well. im glad i was prodded to go up and play because i would not have done so by myself. but that’s what i love about making memories. after doing something out of my comfort, GOSH it feels exhilarating!

ok, so i guess this is whats so important about going up. i was SO surprised that aj and his group thought i sang well. i was taken aback because sure i can carry a tune, but that’s it… i can carry a tune. aj has a way to “sweet” talk the words, which i have yet to acquire. so that meant a lot to me. and then other random people complimented me which made me feel insecure. and then diane started acting all weird. ok well she usually acts crazy. i think i found that out. that and she says she’s crazy.

ok so i think to have face it. part of me enjoys compliments because of the recognition. but another half just hates it. i absolutely detest it. because this means i get glory. i dont want glory. Christ deserves glory. but i feel like i dont always make that connection when i receive compliments and such. and that frustrates me. and compliments when taken in the wrong way can be pride feeding. and im so afraid that it can happen. maybe i’m being over sensitive/conscious of it. i need a better way to deal with compliments than just acting shy or embarrassed. i think i still think/act in extremes, and i need to moderate that. i should be able to appreciate comments because people are trying to act lovingly, but also recognize that it doesn’t puff up my self image. (not sure if that’s articulated correctly)

long aside. my bad. but i believe diane was dancing and pretending i was a celebrity. so i just looked around aimlessly…ok, we took a picture with aj and andrew. dont know why they put me in the middle when aj and andrew are the important ones. and i felt tall. ( BIG SURPRSIE) hahahahah. wow. that made me feel awkwardly confident. actually i just felt awkward because i should’nt have been in the middle and im not usually the tall one in the picture.

man, these memories make it seem like it went bad. but it actually went really well. im just too used to overthinking. anyways, we hung out there and just waited until most people cleared out to talk to aj and andrew. they are SO down to earth and friendly. oh and aj touched my face! so random, but i somehow got stuck as i was moving around, and i was trying to get by him (this is not getting anywhere good) and he touched my face. horrible ending. crap. no need to elaborate.

new paragraph. so i feel like i actually know a youtube star. so cool. maybe im blowing it out of proportion, but it was so fun to meet aj. and to have him say i sing well… GOLLY. and its about time to wrap up this incredibly long but memorable entry.

went to late night and picked up a cherry madonna cheese cake. looked good, and tasted amazing. i decided to do an experiment, and i picked up a bottle of milk to see if i was lactose intolerant. drank it all. did physics homework. finished my shaw application. celebrated angela’s 21st birthday (SO PACKED. SO POPULAR) and then spent the rest of the night… 4 hours on a simple 500-word essay on my intellectual goals. i had NO idea it would be so hard. its not like i dont have intellectual goals. i just dont think about them…

anyways, im at the study lounge now, and from 12-4 i periodically let out a lot of gas. well, except for the time when jinah and esther came to study. that was troublesome. they werent annoying or anything, i just had to hold in a lot of gas. so i did some shifting. and they left around 330. phew. relief. and so to conclude, i believe milk makes me gassy due to my lactose intolerance. and i finished that paper.

TODAY WAS A BIG DAY. though the heavy rain didn’t make it seem like that. i can’t wait for spring break/KRUP. God is good, and I can’t wait to see what He’s going to do this upcoming week. I am so thankful. WHEW.