day 357

work today went pretty smoothly, and i think i got the hang of it though i would still forget a thing or two. i talked to more people and got a bit more comfortable with conversation and such… it still bugs me though that i have to make the extra effort to tell myself to wish other people a happy holidays or a merry christmas. or else, i just nod, or say you too. or something. and it kind of leaves me with regret… i guess that’s interesting because it reminds me that i have a lot to learn about how to interact with people :/

ah, and i managed to finally clean up my gmail account! wow i had emails ALL the way back from the beginning of the year… so that was kind of a stroll through memory lane… anyways, i’m probably gonna do that with my entries, but i’m going to skim them for the most important events that happened this year :) hopefully, that won’t take too long! oh, i thought it was pretty funny that i recently got an email saying i got waitlisted for KRUP, and when i went back through my emails, i found last year’s email about being waitlisted for KRUP again… haha owned! hopefully, i get to go again :)

also, after the day ended, i realized i was pretty tired, even though i sat around most of the day. and i think this week was the first time i actually worked a full day. sad, i know. i’ve never technically “worked” unless you count working for my dad, which i don’t, because it seems a lot easier than working for a boss i don’t know… i’ve never held entry jobs because i usually do volunteer stuff, and prior to this experience, i’ve always worked for just a couple hours at the office before heading back home. so this week was fun, though i did have some reservations because i know my dad is always tired when he comes back from work and i feared i would feel the same. and, well i guess i do feel tired, but it’s different than what i feel at school… i’m not sure how to differentiate between them, but it’s like productive exhaustion… like physically tired instead of mentally or emotionally tired… not sure if that’s right. (or is it labor vs. work?) anyways, i actually didn’t mind working too much, so that’s another fear overcome :)

returning home, we had dinner, and then i set out for a final christmas gift run! thankfully, i managed to complete everything i set out to do for gifts and such, mostly for my family, and it was fun going from guitar center, to borders, to the supermarket, and finally to the mall. lots of walking… but rewarding! i hope everyone likes their gifts :) hmm… now i gotta wrap them, but i pretty much suck at that :/ i follow the calvin & hobbes model: “do it bad enough and they won’t ask you to do it again” so now, my sisters don’t ask me to wrap gifts… so i watch. =) and when i need to make gifts look nice, bags & boxes with tissue paper do the trick :P

anyways, on my way home, it was kinda ironic to see that while i was driving 65 mph in a 55mph zone, the police car ahead of me was moving further and further away… i sped up to 75 and i still wasn’t matching his speed! i’m not sure how that makes me feel… haha.

getting home, my parents and sisters were wrapping gifts for the children at church tomorrow since it’s become a tradition for all the kids to get gifts for christmas! so i watched :P and did some of my own organizing for my sisters and parents and grandma’s gifts :) i then proceeded to play starcraft 2 with kavin, and lost every. single. game. whew, well that game won’t keep me addicted long… then, i cleaned my desk. it made me SO antsy because i like order… but there was so much stuff. i REALLY need to unpack and reorganize my room because it’s a mess too :( ENTROPY. AHHHH.

so, cleaning is a big thing on my mind right now, but at least i got some of it done. the other thing that’s bothering me is the fact that i got a ridiculous grade for psych, because all the test scores have been posted, but it doesn’t add up to the grade i received… it’s like a letter too low. and THIS is why i think my psych professor shouldn’t be teaching… ugh. i know this’ll get resolved, but it’s mistakes like these that bug me because after a couple mistakes, now the only thing that comes to mind when i think of him is incompetence… lol. ok no more complaining. it’s christmas eve tomorrow!

day 321

woke up feeling exhausted! i can’t believe i’ve skipped two 9AMs in a row, and i’m probably gonna do that tomorrow in preparation for my midterm tomorrow (or rather later today…). it’s ironic though, i was working on math homework to prepare myself for class, but i overslept it :P

i managed to look through some material for physio and then headed off to meet dan kim (‘11) for lunch! he’s the gajok uncle =) i think that’s probably the first time i’ve done so…and i really enjoyed the conversation. i really resonated with his outlook on life, because i think instead of focusing so much on just the grades & performance, he understands that there’s so many more important things to life. gosh, i wish i had gotten lunch with him earlier at BC!

took the physio exam, and it felt ugly. as in, unexpected because it differed significantly from the first exam, and it threw me off a bit. i did not leave that exam feeling satisfied with how i did because i doubted a lot of the responses i put down. and so, i zoned out in dev and basically just talked to eugene on facebook… except he sat right next to me. lol. i made shark & robot faces. and showed him my pokemon powerpoint. haha….i don’t know why i even went to class :P

after class, i got to meet up with kevin, who’s a freshmen in my gajok. and it was great getting to know his interests and such, finding out that he’s more interested in journalism/comm, and beat production (possible music minor?)! and so far, he enjoys BC, which is very encouraging. =) oh and he can EAT. and yet, he still has LOTS of money on his meal plan…. i don’t get it! :P ah yes, one last comment, i’ve noticed that the two kevin/kavin kangs that i know play starcraft 2…. must be SOME correlation :)

coming back from 2nd lunch, i immediately took a nap. put on some music, which i regret because i realized that while it was peaceful, i probably sleep better with no music on… unless it’s just rainymood :P anyways, i slept a good two hours and nick also joined me haha. i mean, in his own bed… but it’s interesting. we seem to have similar, yet strange sleeping schedules. i decided to get up earlier and do some work, but even by 5, it was so dark outside! then, it was time to get dinner with binh. it was great talking with him about kairos, for both of us to share our experiences, and for us to talk a little about what we understood God to be. it was a good time, but then i had to go do work!

that sort of worked, except then i got distracted. and then stopped by shinyoung’s for brooke fraser tickets!! wow, i didn’t expect to have an opportunity to buy them because they sold out so quick, but YES! brooke is AMAZING. and awkward =) and it’s this saturday! then my phone died, so i headed back to the library, to pack up my stuff, and charge my phone.

then, it was time for a little gajok surprise ;) jinah & i invited just the freshmen (rachel, arthur, vi & kevin) to lower for “late night,” and i must admit, jinah & i did a pretty good job in keeping them clueless. they’d realize something was up, but then we’d divert them with jolly ranchers. :) and so, when they realized that they weren’t supposed to be eating late night… we told them that we were going to newton! and jinah had a car, so we piled in. to their surprise, minje was in the trunk! AHAHAHA. they got SO freaked out :P because minje was like, “i’ve been kidnapped! where are they taking me?” and then the freshmen realized… they weren’t going to newton :P. instead, we headed to IHOP! everyone was hungry enough to finish their own late night meal, and it was delicious! and food coma inducing. :P we had some interesting conversation about who we thought was cute in each grade… but to make it more meaningful, we talked about our roses, buds, and thorns (haha the influence of saeyoung & susie :P). it was a great night out, somewhat spontaneous & planned at the same time, and i think everyone enjoyed it =) we also named minje our honorary uncle… because he helped plan it. i think he was originally supposed to surprise the freshmen and blindfold them… but we didn’t want to be that cruel :P

and so, getting back to campus, i got distracted by my roommates before finally, STUDYING for my psych midterm! prior to that, i was doing math homework… so i didn’t start till 2AM. and now it’s 5, and i’m somewhat ready for the test. it should be pretty straightforward, but i can’t believe i’m developing these kinds of habits of studying. too much stuff is happening!! i really can’t wait for break to reset, i hope…

day 300

Wow, I can’t believe it’s already been 300 days! Today was definitely exciting, as I got to visit LA, specifically USC and its campus.

I didn’t sleep the best, possibly because I ate too much last night, or because of all the tea I drank. Haha. Anyways, I woke up at 6AM, and began the meticulous process of suiting up =) Then, Pastor Jack and I left around 7:15 to get breakfast, and we stopped by a Chinese bakery to pick up some pork buns, red bean pastries, and hot soy milk, delicious! =D the only bummer was that I forgot to take a fork, so when I ate with my hands, I managed to get some of the oil on my suit :/ but, I managed to get most of it off once I got to bathroom at the USC dental school. While it did bother me at the beginning of the interview because there were slight white splotches on my suit, I stopped caring once everything began, and I managed to hide it behind my folder when I carried it :P

Anyways, the ride to the campus took about an hour because of traffic, so it was a good thing we left the bakery at 7:45, and we arrived just on time! As soon as I found the meeting place for all the interviewees, I recognized a couple people from previous interviews. I met Ensang at my UPitt Interview, and he’s from Wisconsin, and it was great to talk to him because in a “sea” of random people, we had a connection, haha. And, it was great to hear this was both our 5th interview, though he’s interviewed more around the MidWest. Also, I recognized Ray from my UPenn interview, and again, it was great talking to him, though it slipped my mind where I had met him even though my interview at UPenn was less than a week ago. :P oh, and he’s from USF, so I guess this was much closer for him. 

The day began pretty laid back, as the associate dean said it should be a low stress, low anxiety day. We just talked about where we came from, our major, and an interesting fact about ourselves before he began talking about USC. It was pretty interesting, especially the huge alumni network and the history of USC and its dental school. Oh, and there’s a rivalry between USC and UCLA, and they seemed to pick on UCLA a bit :P

Then, we began our actual interview, but this was different than anything else I had done because this was a “group interview,” except it involved working on a case study and identifying a situation and offering solutions. We started with icebreakers, but they were actually interview questions, and it was very interesting to see how a person answered a question because I had only heard my own response… I’m so glad I was last to go because while we all received different questions, I definitely had time to recall certain experiences and share them on the spot. I decided to talk about Kairos and my dad as a mentor =) So, it was finally time for the case study, and they wanted to see how we worked together because the faculty had already read our applications and everything. And, in one sense, it was fine because I had anticipated this, and I spoke my part, participated, and did some note taking for the group. But, it was frustrating because there were definitely some people who were dominant and overly talkative, preventing other people from sharing, and sometimes, the note taker didn’t have enough time to write everything down. And, this kind of format was called PBL, problem-based learning, and this is unique for USC because this replaces the usual lectures & book studying, but I’m not sure how I like that. I think I’d prefer listening to lectures and having the option of working individually or in groups. I am always afraid that I won’t mesh with the group dynamics, and this would negatively affect my learning. Well, it’s a good thing I came to USC to check this out because while I had my initial reservations, I couldn’t confirm them until I actually experienced PBL. 

We had a quick writing sample about what we would do about winning the lottery, and I said that I’d give it all away because “friends” would always ask you for money, and it would possibly distort what wealth is. I’d rather earn my wealth than just have it given, because in the process, it builds character, especially patience. But, I don’t think they actually cared about what I wrote because they only wanted to make sure I knew how to write… but it was fun, at least! 

Then, we had lunch with some students, and honestly, they didn’t seem as excited about the school as I hoped they would be. I asked them about pros and cons about the school, and they were very broad/vague… as if, they were trying to go around the question. Whatever. At least I got to know some new people, and I got to talk with Bryant Lee, who is a senior at UC Irvine. We just talked about our experiences for interviews and such, and he’s someone I felt like we could be friends if we happen to go to the same dental school =).  Oh, but there were a couple annoying people though…or in particular, the girl next to me was annoyingly talkative. She would ask a question, and then interject while the dental student was responding to her question. She would repeatedly do this, and try to finish the sentences of the dental students unnecessarily. She’s from Yale undergrad… and if those are the people they accept, haha wow I’m glad I don’t know many people from there. And, we have another interview together at Tufts. GG. 

We had our financial aid session, and it was nothing different from other schools, except costs are estimated to be about $100k a year. Wowwwww.  Actually, that just sounds a lot even though most other schools are $90k. And, I’m not sure if I’m allowed to complain if I’m supposed to make it all back in the end…but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen till like 25 years after I graduate or something. Anyways, it was kind of boring just because I heard the same stuff 4 times already. We ended the day with a Q&A session about how USC does their final selections, and they collected a couple supplement forms from us. Honestly, the best impression about the school came from the associate dean. He seemed to actually be enthusiastic about the program, and he knew his stuff! He could answer all the questions directed toward him, and I guess that’s expected… we also took a tour of the facilities after, but I think since it was at the end of the day, everyone was just tired and did not feel like asking questions.

At the end of the day, I decided to explore the USC campus because it’s HUGE on the map! And, I met up with another interviewee, Bruce, and he showed me around the place because he had been here before. As we talked, we realized that we were both Taiwanese! He’s from Vancouver, BC, and it was interesting to hear how cold it was getting there compared to the sunny weather at USC. Haha, we were both just soaking in the beautiful weather, and we took a quick tour before I had to head back to the dental school so my ride could find me. I think Bruce hopes to stay in Vancouver because it’s much cheaper there for dental school, but he’s also looking into BU! He’s a pretty chill guy too, and it’d be pretty cool if we were classmates =).

I got picked up by Pastor Jack, and we went through more traffic as we returned. He took me through Pasadena to see some of the stores and sights around the area, and it was pretty cool although I was exhausted and had to seriously fight off the yawns and constantly nodding off. I took a nap when we got back, then I felt refreshed and started on work and catching up on emails. Then, we headed off to dinner, where we met with Annie, and coincidentally Diana again! Haha, that definitely wasn’t planned, but I guess in one day a lot can change, because she and her friend had just gotten into a minor car accident =/. And while nobody got seriously injured, I think there was some pain in the abruptness of the collision? That was definitely a bummer to hear… anyways, we met at another Taiwanese place, and this was actually owned by the same person who ran the hot pot place we went to yesterday… haha. I decided to get some spicy beef noodle soup, and it was delicious! Slightly different though, because the spicy was numbing instead of actually being spicy… so that confused me for a bit before I realized what was happening. I just thought my tongue was acting up, but I guess the milk tea helped counter it despite it not feeling actually spicy. 

oh and, i should probably mention, throughout the day, when pastor jack had to send me off to USC/pick me up, we talked a lot about what to do for the youth conference that’s coming up in two weeks. he was really encouraging about what to do, and at the same time, i noticed things i definitely need to improve upon in leadership, specifically, setting a vision for the group and raising up new leaders! i’m really glad for the talks we had, though i wish i wrote down some of the stuff he said! at least he’s coming in two weeks, so he can remind me in case i forgot anything :P oh and i love the way he’s able to communicate with his wife… i think the openness is something i’m really looking for in a relationship because nothing can replace good communication. and, it’s interesting, even though they’re older than me, i feel like we’re on the same wavelength in conversations… probably because they work with youth & college students, so in a sense, i felt like i was just talking with good friends :)

After a filling dinner, Pastor Jack and Annie sent me to the airport, and thankfully, everything went smoothly! Coincidentally, I saw Ensang again at the airport as he headed back to Wisconsin! :P Gosh, the red eye flight definitely is more stressful with everyone’s mood a little on the edge since it’s so late… and thankfully, I was one of the last people able to get my suitcases into the storage above before they had to be checked in =) And, then I pretty much slept my way through the night…

Yeah, I’m at Logan now… waiting for my dad to pick me up, and surprisingly, I feel awake =) It’s been a great but too short of a visit to LA, so I hope to visit soon again!

day 294

i did not sleep too well the night before… but when 630 came around, i was up! i took a long shower, and got myself psyched up for the day. actually, it was more like reflection and rehearsing answers to interview questions. when i got out of the shower, my breakfast came! except, it was weird because i had to accept it with just a towel since i had JUST come out of the shower… good thing it was a guy? uh. i had bacon, eggs, & potatoes with apple juice :) totally hit the spot. and despite feeling a cough coming on and lots of congestion, i felt like i could make it through the day. i got ready by 7:30, so i relaxed, looked over a couple more questions, and listened to brooke fraser to calm the nerves. i LOVE her new album! i’ve had to have played “Who Are We Fooling?” at least 50 times this past week… it’s so chillingly beautiful. but i think it’s about breaking up… doh. anyways, i posted the song recently, so i would definitely take a listen if you haven’t already… and buy her ALBUM! =)

i left the hotel at 8 and had plenty of time to spare when i arrived at the upenn dental school. i think in the meeting room, there was in total 14 interviewees including myself, and as always, the beginning was intimidating because everyone’s in suits (well the guys are… i’m not sure if suits are correct for girls… but the equivalent.) and i guess i have the habit of “sizing” people up. you know, to make myself feel more confident. a lot of people were from california and florida. two of notre dame… and one girl from northeastern! so, definitely an interesting mix. we went through introductions and info sessions in the morning, and one point made by the director admissions really struck me: “we care about people, not statistics.” i feel like that’s hard for upenn to say when their fact sheets show high mean gpas/dat scores, etc… but after looking over their information and talking with the students, i really believed it. and, it really resonated with me, because i’m hoping that i will continue to develop as a person in dental school!

we then took a tour around upenn, and the facilities were nice for the most part… the lecture rooms don’t have windows though… strange. and finally, it was time for my interviews! my first one was at 11, and this was with the assistant dean of admissions. it felt intimidating at first, but she was really nice, and i felt like i could just open up. i talked a lot about kairos, and developing as a person, and at the end of our short conversation, i felt that i had an opportunity to share parts of myself that weren’t on the application :) as soon as i got out of that interview, i was met with another faculty member, and we went to her office for the second interview! i kinda went over the same things because she had specific questions, but since it was more like an interview, i made sure to highlight examples that would answer the questions… and not just bs or something :P like, she wanted to know about my best and worst experience at bc, and i said kairos was my best experience, while the worst experience had to be the drinking culture because there doesn’t seem to be a compelling alternative. and, i also shared about my core group of friends in shaw, and how that’s allowed me to branch out and meet new people, especially people who i hope to stay friends after graduation :) and i think we ended with sharing about an example of feeling overwhelmed, so i told her about junior year and balancing everything, like physics, school work, studying, extracurriculars, relationships, church, sleep, etc. and i was able to maintain this by destressing through like guitar, journaling, and having conversations with people. so again, i felt very happy at the end of the interviews because i could share my story! =)

after the interviews, i really unwound…. we had lunch with a couple students, who were very helpful in describing the ups and downs of upenn, and i’m really impressed about how one guy came to upenn knowing that he wanted to be the best clinician possible. i think that’s my goal too… i’m pretty sure research isn’t for me. and he’s a family guy, and i think that’s something i resonate with too! after that, i took a self-guided tour of upenn, and the campus is BEAUTIFUL. i’d still say BC is more beautiful, but it’s under construction… :/ anyways, it’s a different kind of beauty because it’s so interesting how insulated it feels while being situated in the middle of a bustling city! that was pretty cool. and for the longest time, i thought this row of buildings belonged to a museum, but i figured out that they were housing! craaaaazy. 

seriously though, that does NOT look like housing… but another view of it actually reminds me of the new stokes hall that’s being built at BC… hmm.

upenn quad

vs.

bc stokes hall

haha maybe not.. i duno. after the tour, i went to go visit the bookstore, and it’s HUGE. i guess because it’s sponsored by barnes & noble, but it basically was a B&N store… with two floors and i was overwhelmed by everything they sold! bc bookstore could not compare. but, i realized that it was just as expensive :P so i just bought some thank you cards that i would use later, a card for my gajok daughter, rachel’s birthday, and a gift for my sister because i found some cool pencils! i didn’t want to buy a tshirt or something that said upenn… because what if i don’t get in? that’d be gg… haha.

anyways, being done with visiting upenn, i met up with nick & stella, and we hung out at their place, playing halo reach :P then we headed to koreana, and it had some amazing korean food! i couldn’t believe it: kalbi for $9! i think hmart costs $15… and it was pretty good :) that, and they paid for my dinner :D so i was very grateful. and full afterward, even though we ate a very early dinner at 4. the reason was because i had to catch the train back to the airport at 5… so they accommodated my schedule. we said our goodbyes as i took the bus to the train station, and i made it there a couple minutes late for the train at 5, but thankfully, i could catch the one at 5:30 and still make it an hour early before my plane left at 7:15. 

checking in and security was very quick, and there was like no line for security compared to the ones in logan! i waited at the terminal, and did some homework/reviewing. knocked out on the plane even though i planned on doing work :P after arriving at boston, i got on the silver line bus, went to south station, took it to park street, then took the B line to the star market at babcock… just to buy a birthday cake for rachel! i hope you realize that my gajok family is going to be the best ever!! anyways, i knew that the T would take forever getting back to campus, and i was already running late for a group meeting at 10… so i took a cab, and i was just $15 to get back to BC, including tip. i managed to get to BC around 10:30, changed/unpacked, and got ready to meet people at lower. thankfully, the project was mostly done, and i could just edit the rest later… so i headed off for rachel’s birthday. we met up at upper, and i’m so impressed that our entire family made it! it was kind of a fail at the beginning because we actually went into her room BEFORE 12… some freshmen were too antsy. haha. but, we sang happy birthday to her, justin oh used a lighter as a candle (so ghetto!), and then justin also caked her… haha. i guess since she’s now a ksa fresh rep, he gets to do that… that and he’s the grandpa of all gajoks. fine fine, i guess i must respect my elders :P oh the only bummer was that we never got to eat the cake! rachel is wayyyyy too popular, and there were so many of her friends there once we said happy birthday, so we just left and let her share the cake with her friends… bummer :/

a good night though, as the rest of us headed back down to lower. and now it’s time to study… i’m glad i did put some time into this exam already… but i hope i don’t stay up too late! i am also glad that i’m writing this entry now so i won’t leave it for the last minute and sleep even later! i think i’m gonna have to study more tomorrow and skip my 12pm class just to be safe. whew, i didn’t think i’d be THIS busy as soon as i got onto campus… but what an exciting day!

myclue:

An almost love story. In an effort to self-edit conversation less, I’ll try to use less backspace on my computer. and my brain.

day 259

i woke up in a daze… but at least i didn’t feel as tired as i thought it’d be. i kept waking up in the night because i was afraid i’d oversleep, but at least i didn’t! in between class, i sent my headphones to bose for repair and i paid for kairos! and coincidentally, i saw marci there, and it looks like we’ll be going on the same kairos retreat :)

during multivariable, i was caught by surprise by how a girl was wearing a ridiculously short skirt. it made me gag a bit. and then i laughed. because i know that i wore something like that short… i’d be the laughingstock of the school! i dont get why nobody else laughed… :/

i was hoping to go to the mass of the holy spirit (i was SO glad psych was canceled!), but tiredness kicked in and i realized that i’d just zone in and out during the whole thing. so i headed back to my room to take a nap. i woke up just in time to head down to hillside to grab lunch with steph at hillside. i guess since i’ve never had to live off campus, i’ve taken for granted the ease of a meal plan, although my situation is a bit unique ;) it’s definitely fun to invite off-campus people to eat, so i hope to do so more :D it was fun to catch up, and see how things were going because i still haven’t figured out how to talk to people in large group situations… i don’t know, but at summit, it just felt like, conversations were brief, but by having these situations, i could actually understand how people’s summers went, and share a little about mine as well. yeah. i don’t like big group situations, haha. at least not yet… well, sam lee came to sit down with us, and we started to talk about school/grades…. i just hope he can do well this semester and go abroad! chatting went on longer than i thought…

and suddenly, it was time for my psych research. well, i was a volunteer for one. i think i chose one that suited me pretty well, memories :) i would be given a word, like scared, rejected, happy, joyful, successful, etc. and i would have to think of a memory in my experience to describe that feeling and give some details about how i recalled that memory. some were a bit hard to think about, because i just couldn’t remember, and others brought up some difficult memories… i definitely think i have a better memory of painful experiences: rejection, betrayal, hurt. joyful/happy feelings weren’t as memorable, and i felt like i had to recall more recent events to write down. i think the oldest memory i wrote down was probably when i was 14, when i got baptized. oh, but that was a happy one. haha. well, the painful experiences were more readily accessible, while i was really stuck on what to write for things like successful. 

after the survey, i headed back to my room, and asked dan kim about our el pelon date…. but he already ate mexican :/ so i decided to cook, and i invited him over for some korean food :) this was good motivation for me to clean up the kitchen, and i thoroughly enjoyed cleaning the dishes and common area. and then, i cooked a new batch of rice, and decided to bake cookies as well for the study group afterwards. now, i don’t claim to have any cooking skills because all i did was grill meat from hmart… but it was good! and marco joined us too. it was a pretty good dinner with the 3 of us just having entertaining conversations. honestly, i was a bit hesitant about living with marco this year, but i really like talking with him. whether it’s about food. or anything else. but MAN, he knows his food! i definitely need to learn some cooking skills from him :) his dad’s a chef… heheheh. oh, and today was the first time he tried korean food, so that was pretty cool too. i think he got a good impression, especially about the kimchi. :D

well, soon after, dan and i moved to the common room for our group study, and it was pretty productive. we managed to get things done in an hour, and i’m SO glad it’s over with! i then spent the rest of the night relaxing… not doing much, haha. i guess i could’ve studied, but i’m not really in the zone :/ meh it’s alright, at least i’ve gotten a lot of important things done today!

day 223

i had a horrible time sleeping last night. it was either because i was anticipating what to do today or because there was no AC and i just tossed and turned for almost 2 hours before sleeping. anyways, i tried to see if esther & debbie could come over for their going away party, but in the end, we realized it wasn’t going to work out. so, i had to cancel it :(… they were too busy with cleaning up their place, making sure everything was ready for packing because they were leaving tomorrow afternoon! and they had just gotten into the states last night…. crazy. this is all because they’re moving to texas and school starts the 17th. SO early… and on top of all this, i guess they had some car troubles so they had to get that fixed. anyways, me and my sisters along with joseph and deborah decided to visit them at their place, drop off their gifts, and say one last good bye! this was my first time seeing their place, so it was kinda cool =) and we took pictures to remember it all…gosh, they’ve been in the US for just a year, and they’re moving again. well, i hope i see them soon!

after saying good bye, we went to sully’s to get some ice cream, i skipped dinner because i didn’t feel hungry and went to worship practice. returned home to drop off joseph, and headed to BC for some late night! :) we decided to go to ihop in brighton, and let’s see, there was pearl, eugene kim, his friend phil, diane, ayo, justin, and me. originally, it was just going to be a small boston acf family reunion, but why not get more people! and it was great just talking about whatever, taking FOREVER to choose because everything looked SO good especially with unlimited beverages and there was despicable me advertising! anyways, it was interesting bringing people together to chat/eat over pancakes because most of us hadn’t seen each other for some time. or maybe i just hadn’t seen most of them since the end of spring semester :P. but, there were lots of laughs, and we managed to finish all our food! well, a lot of people helped finish mine…. wow, what is wrong with me? i only ate lunch today and i didn’t even feel hungry during ihop. hmmm, i had some meat from hmart and kimchi for lunch, so that must be the key! so, after dropping everyone off, i had a relaxing drive back home, except that i had a LOT of gas. from IHOP. good thing i was alone, because it sounded like a brass ensemble. or something. atrocious, indeed. oh, and ayo likes chocolate milk, but i’m afraid he may have drank too much…. and it was great meeting phil! he’s a funny one. and, let’s see, ayo, eugene, phil, and diane? are going back soon while pearl and justin are remaining here. i think i got that right. it was a fun night, though my mind’s still fuzzy about exactly why… it must’ve been the conversation and laughing. i just remember laughing. oh and, i realize that i’m not good at muting my phone when i’m trying to ask people next to me for advice and such… haha diane could hear what i was saying through the phone because i thought my shirt would muffle the sounds. owned. 

and i played starcraft 2… doh! gotta do some work tomorrow :P

day 176

whew such a long day! woke up at 7 because we had to get ready and eat breakfast by 845 to catch the bus. so early… but i somehow managed to wake up :P. and i called dr. bob before getting breakfast to talk about retreat stuff, and it’s so fun to talk to him. he’s very down to earth and always willing to have a conversation with shaw. hopefully, his meeting with reslife will go well concerning shaw…

the breakfast line was SO long! i forgot that overnight, a FLOOD of people came, so by 8 there was already a line. luckily, my mom and sisters already had a table so i could just step into the buffet line :) went to the jubilee site, and i played a little basketball before the actual service started. the morning worship was led by vincent lim and the vancouver worship team! they were really good too, especially the guitars and bass :P though i didn’t know most of the songs they sang. but, they were easy enough to catch on. oh and they did a better job with putting lyrics on the slides… for some reason, the hendrickson family squeeze all the lyrics on one slide, making it impossible to see due to small font size for songs that have a lot of lyrics… and it looked like the vancouver team also had a specially designed background. and they had their own t-shirts… haha, man they’re so cool. oh and vincent is JACKED! i don’t remember that two or three years ago when i saw him lead worship, but now reminds me of jeremy camp with a mohawk :P

for the morning session, sean smith spoke, and i really liked it. he shared his testimony of how he grew up in the ghettos of oakland, and how his dad was unjustly killed by two police officers due to his skin color. while the law found those two officers guilty and paid reparations…, that really doesn’t make up for the fact that he grew up without a positive male role model. so that really broke my heart, just understanding how important male role models are needed for this generation. oh i guess since he has a common last name, it should be noted that he is african american. but gosh, the way he talks reminds me of obama! (and i’m not trying to be racist…he just speaks THAT eloquently). so he didn’t lead a healthy lifestyle until college when he had an encounter with God that radically changed his life! like, he basically passed out on his rug from partying, but prayed that if God revealed himself, he would give his entire life. and a couple hours later, he awoke to the light and glory of the King and immediately began telling others about jesus! so crazy. actually, he shared about how he’s never backslidden, not due to his own strength, but he understands that if he doesn’t constantly strive to seek God, he will backslide and he knows that what is there is unsatisfying and destructive. man, i was so impressed by his mindset of not compromising… i gotta work on that!

anyways, he shared his message from numbers 22-23 about the story of balak and balaam with the cursing/blessing of israel. and it’s so funny how even though balak summons a prophet to curse the israelites, it can’t happen because God doesn’t allow balaam to do so. i think sean talked about: deception, distraction and divination. yet, the israelites stumble when they allow the moabite women to enter into their tribes…and so, in a sense, the israelites cause their own downfall because they reject god. and so a plague breaks out. and the only way it’s stopped is when phineas drives a javelin into a man who is flaunting the sinful act during the plague. so sean talked about how we need people who are willing to be passionate for god (not kill people, lols!…that was more of OT context) but to be his burning ones. oh and i thought it was a good reminder how in the promised land, there are other tribes because the israelites need those resistances in order to grow. without trials, the israelites would just remain childish or stagnant in their growth, and in the same sense, we shouldn’t be avoiding pain because it’s in those times that we actually grow. yeah… i wish i made more sense here, but i think that’s because i never take notes during messages… perhaps i should… doh.

after the message, it was time for lunch and we had quiznos! my goodness, there’s just TONS of food, and it’s incredible how much preparation is needed to feed 600+ kids! well, after lunch, i decided to play basketball until the worship team with the hendricksons. it was good too, despite the small lyrics, because i knew most of the songs. after that, we broke up into regions… and basically it split up into norcal, socal, NW pacific (vancouver, washington, oregon), and east coast… which wasn’t really east coast because it included massachusetts, florida, georgia, texas, and north dakota. REALLY? North dakota?! haha, so that was interesting during our meeting. we only had 10 or so people, but it was good nonetheless, actually possibly better :P because it was easier to listen and understand how each church was doing. and in a sense, the east coast churches are a bit remote compared to the ones on west coast, but i think the sharing really encouraged me, and reminded me to be thankful for what God is doing at our church!

after that, we had regional games… and since the east coast came a bit late… we were presented in front of the crowd… and that was a bit awkward because i didn’t want to jump and shake my booty. errrrr. and to make matters worse, after that, they asked for representatives from each region and i was chosen since i was the oldest of the group… greaaaaaat. i decided to be awkward and slowly do my jump and shake. oh well. i got a free tshirt! but it’s too big :/

afterwards, we had group games, but i just watched because it was so chaotic. then it was time for dinner, and the pizza was very bland… at first, they were telling us to only take two slices, but soon, they were telling everyone to take more, but by then, i think everyone figured out the quality of the pizza :/ i think they decided to sell the leftovers at the snack shack. i was tired from the basketball i played in the morning, so i found a quiet spot for a nap.but then 20 or 30 minutes into my nap, i was awoken by rumblings… but i decided to ignore it and just listen to my ipod as i closed my eyes. but then someone decided to wake me up! the nerve… lol, i was obviously sleeping! but at least i didn’t act irritated, more just out of it. anyways, she just wanted to sell me stuff…and i didn’t feel like buying stuff from someone who woke me up especially since it was a notebook. i have tumblr! so i went back to sleep, but by then it was too loud, and i guess my sisters were around the area because when i awoke, they were telling me how people almost sat on me since they didn’t notice i was there. oh that and the fact that they decided to have a breakdancing contest in that area. no wonder it was so loud…

bought some cds, and gosh that girl who woke me up was so aggressive in selling, that i decided to buy a book and cd from her too… haha. i’m not good at saying no. her voice was very high too… bordering annoying. or child-like :P ok no judging. i’m just trying to state facts here..

for the rest of the break, i just watched people play basketball, and finally got a chance to play the last game. it was pretty fun despite the loss. and i hated how i sweat so much after the game… i felt so sticky and sweaty. ugh. then, it was time for service, and i met nate and dave sun as we entered the place. 

the place was packed! the urgency youth had come too, so the chairs were taken out, and everyone sat down. gosh, their youth group is so much more culturally diverse… white, black, asian (uhhh other than chinese i guess?), hispanic. hmm. im impressed by urgency’s cutting edge way of attracting youth… i mean, it’s more than the videogames and basketball court, but i think in a sense, it does make newcomers feel welcome without forcing them to sit in a pew or something. anyways, their worship team (i forget the name…) ROCKED the house! it was SO much louder with the bass blasting through the subs…heart numbing :P but musically, i was so impressed at how they covered the new hillsong songs! wow, i don’t think i’ve ever seen it done so well, and they had a lead singer, a bassist, drummer, and two electric guitarists, both with teles. it seems like all worship bands have teles now… haha. anyways, they opened with no reason to hide, freedom is here, take all of me, tear down the walls, and ended it with an IHOP matt gilman song: holy.  I really liked it, probably because i knew the songs, though i guess hillsong united’s newest album wasn’t as good… without the proper electric guitar sounds, they’re difficult to introduce, but urgency nailed them! and the lead singer was great! despite the fact that i couldn’t sing as high as her and had to change octaves, she led really well!

so, sean smith spoke again for the night session, and it was great! first, his son (brandon josiah smith) shared about taking a stand on purity, and this guy is a scholarship basketball player for cal berkeley, and they recently won the pac-10! i thought that was pretty cool, look him up! :P actually, it was more interesting how he stood up for the fact that he’s a virgin, and how he’s not ashamed of it… yeah i don’t understand why it should be shameful. society is messed. anyways, building off of that, his dad spoke about being a generation that brings a revolution. he talked about how revivals always begin with a small group of young people, and he focused on king josiah from 2 kings 22-23. i guess what i took away was the fact that in the bible, it states that there was no king before or after him who obeyed god like him. wow, not even king david?! and just as crazy, josiah’s acts were prophesied in 1kings 13, and this was fulfilled like 250 years after! that’s probably one of the reasons why josiah ripped his clothes after discovering the book of the law…wow. that’s conviction. and one another thing, looking on his past, growing up in an ungodly environment, because his dad Amon brought in all the idols and practices, it’s unbelievable how god can use people and bring about such change! and that says a lot about josiah’s character too! shoooot. i never realized this before. anyways, sean focused again on being the generation that will be relentless. to not compromise on ideals or character. and not to just live a coasting christian life. but to fight and to grow. i know this is SUCH a long post, but already, if i have to sum it up, my destiny and vision for my senior year is to make evident the life of christ in my life and to take the campus for jesus! (i know it’s a jesuit school, but honestly, it’s become more of a tradition than anything else…and everyone, myself included, wants a kingdom invasion!)

the bus ride back was fun too! i got to meet a new guy named ray, who is from LA, and we just talked about the conference and such. he’s 17, a junior in high school, moved from taiwan just 3 years ago but his english is pretty good!, and he was surprised to find that i was 20 because he said he looked older than me… haha. doh! :P oh and he’s going into culinary school… impressive :) a good day indeed :D