day 352

i’m done with finals! and yet, i still have things to do… and do i really have just one semester left??

well, this morning was a sight to behold… i fumbled around trying to set up three alarms, dropping my cell phone in the process and scavenging around in the dark to find it. when i managed to settle down to sleep, i was awake… probably because i realized what was ahead of me. but eventually i awoke 2.5 hours later, i felt disoriented being awoken by two alarms following after one another… haha, that did the trick because it forced me to wake up :P i do feel bad in waking up my roommate though… but these were dire circumstances!

got ready in time to go down to breakfast, and felt surprisingly calm as i sat with friends and talked, though i did feel like i was zoning out most of the time… and then, some other dev bio came to eat/study and it was fun talking to them because it distracted me from my calc final. but, i realized i was going to be late, so i headed off and made it there composed. my GOODNESS, the final took 3 hours! i did not expect that and fatigue started to kick in halfway through the test but i managed to gather up my strength, power through it, and answer the rest of the questions… surprisingly, half the class was still there i think, but it was almost noon, and i had to eat lunch and get ready for my dev bio final!

i met justin for lunch and we reviewed as we snacked. i anticipated in reviewing all the notes prior to the exam but i didn’t think my math final would take that long! i managed to finish this exam in just an hour, but there were a lot of iffy answers that i knew if i had studied more, i would have felt more confident… oh well. at least after both of my exams, i was able to talk to my professors and that was nice =) sadly, i wish i could’ve spent more time at their office hours but i just didn’t have time :/

i did some wandering around trying to see if the pre-med office was open, but i didn’t realize it was saturday… so i headed back to my room and unwinded… the fatigue didn’t set in too badly, and i did a little packing before my dad picked me up. we went to chinatown to pick up a cake for the christmas service at church tomorrow, and then we headed to church for practice! except we were a bit late because of all the traffic! i was SO surprised that malls (my mom and sisters were there so we had to pick them up…) were unbelievably packed as well as chinatown… and i remember passing out on the car and waking up a lot of times… 

practice went very smoothly to my surprise because i just didn’t know how i was going to respond being so tired. but it was really fun =) and i’m really happy that this year we’re able to incorporate both mandarin and english into all the songs for the set list. that’s never been done in that way, and i hope the congregation doesn’t get lost. =) 

finally arriving home, i ate dinner and then proceeded to play tetris with my sisters… haha. and then do some work for the christmas service tomorrow. and prepare my secret santa gift :) whew, i need to get some rest, but things are looking good tomorrow! best of all, it looks like it’s not gonna snow this sunday, as it has for the past two years, when we’ve had to cancel service… yay!

day 351

well, i guess i never intended to stay up this late for finals tomorrow… but i am. haha.  it’s been pretty productive for the most part, but now i feel rushed in posting this! i woke up at noon… oops. and then cranked out another extra credit essay for kreeft, phew, now i feel somewhat relieved! my grade is somewhat salvagable hopefully :P

steph accompanied me for much of the afternoon, as she didn’t go to work with jeannette… haha. we dropped off my essay, then found liz and priya studying at 90, and i relocated there for the rest of the night. they eventually left to do their own roomies thing, and i did some studying by myself. then, dan came to study after his nap and his physics exam. and then we ate dinner from lower =) CHICKEN SMASH BOWL YES! watched a bit of the knicks getting owned :/ and then studied more… justin came by and it was crunch time! we got a bit sidetracked as steph came by, haha, along with many other visitors… and i never really felt worried about studying for these exams… it’s just that now i realize i won’t get much sleep! haha… oops. oh well, these are my two last ones, gotta make it good… and memorable!

day 350

well, because i went to sleep at 530 last night, i couldn’t really wake up though i tried… until 1PM :P but my body felt SO much better, and immediately, i got to work! i managed to finish my 7 page extra credit essay by 3:30, which i may post up, as it explains why i got pwned on my final :P did some more dish washing for fun and cooked lunch.

i stopped by the library in hopes of studying at my special spot in 4th floor… but oneill was STILL crowded… so i just printed some stuff out and headed back to gabelli lounge, where i studied for the rest of the night. i was pretty efficient with my time, i started my next essay at 5, took a break at 6:45 when steph came over, and cooked dinner for myself and the roommates (bulgogi! i was afraid it was going bad…haha), then returned at 8:30 and did WORK till 11! whew, another 7 pager done :) and it was actually enjoyable because i liked the topic. perhaps, my philosophy teacher will consider this more than my final exam…i can only hope, haha. justin came by around 9 to study dev bio, but i was still working on my essay… so he went much further ahead. there were a couple study breaks in between for cookies! and steph & susan came as well to bring us cupcakes and keep us company and prevent us from going crazy… i think after the essay, my mind was not functioning too well… and that persisted until justin left and i went to the bathroom to take a dump. somehow, the dev bio slides got interesting again… but i only went through one lecture. doh. tomorrow’s gonna be a big cramming day! :/

day 349

well, today will be a day worth remembering! it began with me feeling like… a badass. or more objectively, pretttty stupid, in retrospect. haha. i went into my philosophy final, sat down next to eugene, and told him, jae maeng, and dong that i studied an hour for this test. and, consequently, i reaped what i sowed :P i honestly failed that exam, by getting approximately half of the questions correct, and i am sure of this judgement because he told us to keep the booklet of questions when we left and gave us the answer key as well. gg! i got some wrong that i should’ve known and guessed to get some right… but, that didn’t make up the fact that i didn’t read 3 of the texts that were being asked about…

and, this was the first and hopefully the last time, i’ll ever do that. i hate the feeling of being unprepared because i always want to go into tests knowing that at least i’ve gone over everything and have a fighting chance in doing well… not in this case :/ though, i came to the realization that i just could not finish reading 3 texts in three hours and be able to take two finals back to back without sleep. and being somewhat sick. so i had to let go, which was very difficult for me, though i played it off cooly. i think that’s probably because i’ve drilled the hard work ethic into myself and pride myself in outworking others in terms of studying. that’s also why i’m very much introverted and tend to work by myself. for instance, i have a tendency to not trust my lab partners just because i think i can do a better job by myself, and have done so to put my mind at ease… and sadly, i recognize this as being unhealthy when done in excess…

so, i can’t really say i regret what happened, although i wish i had taken steps to prevent such an occurrence. after the exam, which only took me an hour :P… actually, i finished in like 20 minutes, took a short nap, filled in the ones i had NO idea randomly, and then passed it in… anyways, i napped in the library to recover a bit, then got lunch at lower with justin. met with eugene to talk over the test… and “bragging” about how bad i did. man, i don’t know why i kept doing that… i think i needed to vent because it felt so uncharacteristic of myself to “slack off” like that, although i have many good, but perhaps not sufficient, reason for doing so. and, i DON’T like to justify my slacking off as a result of getting into dental school… because i doubt senioritis has kicked in. it didn’t happen during senior year of high school, when i actually had the MOST work out of all my years, and as i write this, i realize that i don’t want to repeat that again… i want to do well in my classes to prove to myself that i can. that i can be proud of the time and effort i’ve put into my studies, and i want to do this despite getting into dental school and being “set”. because that’s what i’m all about. i know my character and habits will carry me through where my skills and talents have brought me. without character, i will falter as i try to progress.

as soon as we finished lunch, dan, justin and i headed over to our physiology final, and i think it went fine. because i put in the time for studying and i’m happy that i had a fighting chance in answering the problems… though, after feeling exhausted from the first final, i’m not sure how well my mind was functioning :P

after the finals, i basically returned to my place and chilled. definitely needed to do that… i ordered the boston market catering for the shaw party later that night with the help of mark, and then napped until it was time for shawlidays! i dressed up in my ugly sweater =P and walked over with ryan to amber’s place. we went through conte, which was exciting because i never knew it was so complicated! and i saw the ice rink too :P then, we ended up on beacon street, and reservoir ave was right in front of us, so it was just a short walk from there…

as people strolled in, and the food finally arrived (i was a bit worried!), we all ate to our heart’s content :) and had some unbelievable delicious desserts baked by amber, and then it was time for the yankee swap! amir officiated the number drawing process (with a slight hiccup in a couple numbers, haha), and then we took group photos before the actual process started. for the most part, there was no stealing… we were just too curious to see what other people had! but, it wasn’t until the last one, when they realized what i had brought… a pooh bear! =) and… there was some tension, haha and it was stolen… but in the end, it worked out! or sort of… you just had to deal with it :P well, that was a fun night, and i got to bring home the leftovers from boston market =) i’m really glad the dinner worked out because i was nervous in “taking charge” of saying that we had to do boston market, but everyone differing opinions which seemed to get us nowhere, and i was able to foot the bill, and just let other people pay me back. =) tonight was a success!

finally, i went back to my place with the food, and then studied at eagle’s nest with steph. ok, i didn’t really study too much… i went to oconnell house to visit my son, kevin, and get some free hot chocolate! and then, i kinda just distracted steph from her studying… oops :P when i returned home, i thought i was gonna get some work done, but instead, i watched the ending of groundhog day with my roommates, and then washed dishes… as i cooked some rice, and ate some korean food =P that brought me to like 4AM… and then i had some great conversation with ryan through the night, and i’m so happy that he got a job!

oh right… i forgot to do work! i better not procrastinate these next two days… especially since i have a couple essays to do as well :/ here we go!

CORRECTION: after returning to my exam and checking which questions i got right, i somehow managed to get a 76! wow! i cannot believe it…i guessed on a lot of those questions :P

day 348

it is 430AM, and i feel frazzled for my two finals tomorrow… how did it get like this? i definitely underestimated the course load of this semester, especially with interviews… for some reason, i could not be “satisfied” with taking just 4 courses, and this has come back to bite me in the butt. poor decision…because part of me regrets not being able to take in as much as i could out of each class since i was genuinely interested in them! well, i’ve minimally studied for my 9AM exam, and i’ve done as much as i could for my physio exam right after…

anyways, my morning began at 10AM, but i awoke feeling exhausted… i ate breakfast and continued studying for my psych exam. the final was fine, though i did not feel the best, because i realized i was sick, despite just feeling very tired and congested :/ after the exam, i waited 20 minutes in line to mail a letter because there were so many people! i took a 2 hour nap, and felt VERY refreshed! then, i got dinner with hanyin, nick, and jv at el pelon, and then it was time for studying. i went to higgins with dan, and we basically studied from 9PM until 4AM… and i’m still not satisfied probably because i crammed :( oh well… i guess this is the best i can do, so i’ll take tomorrow as it is! 

day 347

today has definitely NOT been a productive study day… but entertaining nonetheless =)

began the morning by washing dishes….i like to introduce some order into my life before starting to study. then, steph came over for lunch, and we prepared and cooked the food, which was very healthy, as in lots of veggies. :P then, it was time to make care packages for the gajok, so jinah and i worked on them at her place, and then i decided to study in the 90 lounge. that was somewhat helpful, but i quickly got distracted because i’d much rather talk to people than study. :P and then it was time for dinner, so hanyin and i grabbed some food at lower. after a short period of food coma, i headed to higgins with dan, dropped off some care packages along the way, and “studied” at a special lab in higgins :)

at first, this seemed to be the ideal place to study! a secluded place where very few people knew where we were… then steph & jeannette came over for a study break to bring me their “friends,” phineas & ferb…whom i have eaten :P and justin came to study too! ok, i use study lightly as we just talked and sang, and watched youtube videos much more than study… but we had random spurts of productivity =) i’m very annoyed at my congestion… i hope i don’t get sick :/ and i’m still not worried about my exam tomorrow, though i haven’t been too diligent about studying… ugh. why can’t i focus?!

day 53

had a 4 hour “nap” before waking up at 9 to get ready for my immunology exam. surprisingly, i wasn’t too tired. must’ve been the adrenaline. got ready, took the exam, got surprised by a couple questions, but overall, it went well. i think i made some lucky guesses.

and then after lunch, i took the physics exam. actually, i think i already talked about this. this must be déjà vu. (see previous post for exam feelings. i.e. blah. tired. angery.)

took a glorious 2 hour nap. and then took a shower. and then i got dinner with saeyoung. we talked about some deep stuff. i mean girls. i mean important stuff. ok, so we got ice cream, and it was pretty good. reese’s tasted like i was eating peanut butter. im not sure if i like that or not. actually the talk with saeyoung was meaningful. .. why am i having a hard time recalling anything. it’ll come back.

eugene came to visit us and make fun of saeyoung. hah. i believe the first word out of his mouth was douche. wooooooooooow. why do i remember that.

and then it was off to the library. finished my philosophy paper at midnight, and then worked on some other homework. went back, ate ramen, and procrastinated till now. trying to work on lab stuff, but i’m done now. after sleeping at 5, i really need to readjust my sleeping pattern. as i’m being lazy in the study lounge.

study room status: dasom is working. connie left. shawnie came to visit. and dorine and someone else left before i came to study. i am good at observations.

now it’s coming back to me. we talked about looking at people the way God looks at people. but of course, it’s so much easier to judge based on past actions and circumstances. it’s really difficult to look past that when i don’t know someone. actually, maybe it’s harder to forgive when i do someone and their actions betray who i thought they were. but i am supposed to forgive. treating people as they should be treated…and loving them for who they are. and the concept of grace reminds me to be humble. phew. maybe i did learn something. and something about confucius.

erk. exam.s

exams are over, and now i’m recovering. still lots of work, but a load has been lifted off my shoulders. its not as stressful, and in light of the lack of studying i did the entire weekend, i’m content with how i did. looks like i gotta prepare better next time…

so, upcoming this week… philosophy paper. service auction. lab write up. beethoven exam.  aj rafael. application stuff. krup send off!

but to start this all off, i need a nap. it will be a courageous nap.