It’s always good to have a little perspective.


It’s always good to have a little perspective.


a bit anti-climactic… oh well, maybe it’s because i’m not really done done. i guess that’s good :)

day 355

pooped…but productive :)

my goodness, i spent a good time just reading all the blogs i’ve missed from finals, and it’s so interesting because i feel like i just had multiple conversations and caught up with so many people! hehe, i think finals brings out the more reflective side of people… and i LOVE it! i wish people did this more often so i could just know more about their lives and discover what they truly live for and what they worry about and everything… man, this could seem creepy… but hey, this is what i do :P and i’m willing to invite anyone to join me in my story as i progress through this year, but it’s ending so SOON! what to do next year…

anyways, i woke up this morning feeling rested but tired at the same time… it looks like my body needs more rest to recover from ridiculous amounts of sleep deprivation this past semester haha. got dressed for work, and my sister came with me and my dad to the office! it took a couple minutes to get comfortable with everything, but bits and pieces started coming back to me and i could relay some of it to my sister. i brought a book and some other work to do during my off times, but at the end of the day, i realized that i didn’t have any time! well, i was checking my email/cleaning out my 6000+ unread emails (well it goes to my mail app on my mac…) and talking to kavin and dan on gchat :P but i also talked to a lot of patients because it figures the day i get back, people who i haven’t seen in some time, come to my dad for a dental appointment. so like, my old youth leader, who used to baby sit me when i was… like 5, came and we caught up! wow, i remember going to his home and playing super nintendo ALL THE TIME. haha… and eating ice pops. and riding my bike in his backyard. it was very interesting to chat with him because so much has changed, and it’s so interesting that it was it took this kind of opportunity to meet up because we would not have otherwise…

also, during the day, my mom came in to help, and she showed me how to work with more of the money stuff that i never really learned before since the main front desk person was always there when i helped. this time, she wasn’t, so i was supposed to do it all, and it felt overwhelming at first, with me asking lots of questions (i don’t want to mess up a calculation with money!), but eventually, i got the hang of it, and that’s when i realized i just had lots of work ahead of me! wow, so that kept me busy but i didn’t mind it because i was interested and again, i got to talk to people and at the end of the day, i got to meet a patient who had seen my dad for the past 13 years! that is unbelievable… and i think i got a better glimpse as to why my dad still does what he does…. it HAS to be for moments like these, to be able to share in his patient’s lives, and to have such people trust in him for such periods of time since there’s plenty of reasons to switch dentists, especially with recessions and all… wow, i think THAT is what i’m looking forward to. and that’s not to mention how this patient worked from being a school bus driver to finally becoming a school principal! talk about “rags to riches” although… i’m not sure how much a principal makes… :/ but, that is incredible too! how can a day of work be so mind blowing? =)

i was definitely exhausted at the end of the day, but eating hot pot with the family was great, and then we headed to the mall to buy christmas gifts! these gifts were for the kids at church because every year, we’ve bought them gifts so now it’s a precedent/tradition… not sure if it’s a good one because we have DEFINITELY spoiled the kids :P but, i do love handing them out and i can’t believe my parents are willing to do this every year… i’d just worry about money i think. anyways, it was a LOT of walking around and finding gifts, but this time we were MUCH smarter by asking the parents who would be around this christmas service instead of buying gifts for kids who wouldn’t even show up, and we also got to find out what the kids actually wanted from the parents, so it made buying gifts that much easier! when we finished at toys r us, we headed back home, and now, i gotta wake up early tomorrow for my ortho appointment and work! whew…

day 352

i’m done with finals! and yet, i still have things to do… and do i really have just one semester left??

well, this morning was a sight to behold… i fumbled around trying to set up three alarms, dropping my cell phone in the process and scavenging around in the dark to find it. when i managed to settle down to sleep, i was awake… probably because i realized what was ahead of me. but eventually i awoke 2.5 hours later, i felt disoriented being awoken by two alarms following after one another… haha, that did the trick because it forced me to wake up :P i do feel bad in waking up my roommate though… but these were dire circumstances!

got ready in time to go down to breakfast, and felt surprisingly calm as i sat with friends and talked, though i did feel like i was zoning out most of the time… and then, some other dev bio came to eat/study and it was fun talking to them because it distracted me from my calc final. but, i realized i was going to be late, so i headed off and made it there composed. my GOODNESS, the final took 3 hours! i did not expect that and fatigue started to kick in halfway through the test but i managed to gather up my strength, power through it, and answer the rest of the questions… surprisingly, half the class was still there i think, but it was almost noon, and i had to eat lunch and get ready for my dev bio final!

i met justin for lunch and we reviewed as we snacked. i anticipated in reviewing all the notes prior to the exam but i didn’t think my math final would take that long! i managed to finish this exam in just an hour, but there were a lot of iffy answers that i knew if i had studied more, i would have felt more confident… oh well. at least after both of my exams, i was able to talk to my professors and that was nice =) sadly, i wish i could’ve spent more time at their office hours but i just didn’t have time :/

i did some wandering around trying to see if the pre-med office was open, but i didn’t realize it was saturday… so i headed back to my room and unwinded… the fatigue didn’t set in too badly, and i did a little packing before my dad picked me up. we went to chinatown to pick up a cake for the christmas service at church tomorrow, and then we headed to church for practice! except we were a bit late because of all the traffic! i was SO surprised that malls (my mom and sisters were there so we had to pick them up…) were unbelievably packed as well as chinatown… and i remember passing out on the car and waking up a lot of times… 

practice went very smoothly to my surprise because i just didn’t know how i was going to respond being so tired. but it was really fun =) and i’m really happy that this year we’re able to incorporate both mandarin and english into all the songs for the set list. that’s never been done in that way, and i hope the congregation doesn’t get lost. =) 

finally arriving home, i ate dinner and then proceeded to play tetris with my sisters… haha. and then do some work for the christmas service tomorrow. and prepare my secret santa gift :) whew, i need to get some rest, but things are looking good tomorrow! best of all, it looks like it’s not gonna snow this sunday, as it has for the past two years, when we’ve had to cancel service… yay!

day 351

well, i guess i never intended to stay up this late for finals tomorrow… but i am. haha.  it’s been pretty productive for the most part, but now i feel rushed in posting this! i woke up at noon… oops. and then cranked out another extra credit essay for kreeft, phew, now i feel somewhat relieved! my grade is somewhat salvagable hopefully :P

steph accompanied me for much of the afternoon, as she didn’t go to work with jeannette… haha. we dropped off my essay, then found liz and priya studying at 90, and i relocated there for the rest of the night. they eventually left to do their own roomies thing, and i did some studying by myself. then, dan came to study after his nap and his physics exam. and then we ate dinner from lower =) CHICKEN SMASH BOWL YES! watched a bit of the knicks getting owned :/ and then studied more… justin came by and it was crunch time! we got a bit sidetracked as steph came by, haha, along with many other visitors… and i never really felt worried about studying for these exams… it’s just that now i realize i won’t get much sleep! haha… oops. oh well, these are my two last ones, gotta make it good… and memorable!

day 350

well, because i went to sleep at 530 last night, i couldn’t really wake up though i tried… until 1PM :P but my body felt SO much better, and immediately, i got to work! i managed to finish my 7 page extra credit essay by 3:30, which i may post up, as it explains why i got pwned on my final :P did some more dish washing for fun and cooked lunch.

i stopped by the library in hopes of studying at my special spot in 4th floor… but oneill was STILL crowded… so i just printed some stuff out and headed back to gabelli lounge, where i studied for the rest of the night. i was pretty efficient with my time, i started my next essay at 5, took a break at 6:45 when steph came over, and cooked dinner for myself and the roommates (bulgogi! i was afraid it was going bad…haha), then returned at 8:30 and did WORK till 11! whew, another 7 pager done :) and it was actually enjoyable because i liked the topic. perhaps, my philosophy teacher will consider this more than my final exam…i can only hope, haha. justin came by around 9 to study dev bio, but i was still working on my essay… so he went much further ahead. there were a couple study breaks in between for cookies! and steph & susan came as well to bring us cupcakes and keep us company and prevent us from going crazy… i think after the essay, my mind was not functioning too well… and that persisted until justin left and i went to the bathroom to take a dump. somehow, the dev bio slides got interesting again… but i only went through one lecture. doh. tomorrow’s gonna be a big cramming day! :/

day 349

well, today will be a day worth remembering! it began with me feeling like… a badass. or more objectively, pretttty stupid, in retrospect. haha. i went into my philosophy final, sat down next to eugene, and told him, jae maeng, and dong that i studied an hour for this test. and, consequently, i reaped what i sowed :P i honestly failed that exam, by getting approximately half of the questions correct, and i am sure of this judgement because he told us to keep the booklet of questions when we left and gave us the answer key as well. gg! i got some wrong that i should’ve known and guessed to get some right… but, that didn’t make up the fact that i didn’t read 3 of the texts that were being asked about…

and, this was the first and hopefully the last time, i’ll ever do that. i hate the feeling of being unprepared because i always want to go into tests knowing that at least i’ve gone over everything and have a fighting chance in doing well… not in this case :/ though, i came to the realization that i just could not finish reading 3 texts in three hours and be able to take two finals back to back without sleep. and being somewhat sick. so i had to let go, which was very difficult for me, though i played it off cooly. i think that’s probably because i’ve drilled the hard work ethic into myself and pride myself in outworking others in terms of studying. that’s also why i’m very much introverted and tend to work by myself. for instance, i have a tendency to not trust my lab partners just because i think i can do a better job by myself, and have done so to put my mind at ease… and sadly, i recognize this as being unhealthy when done in excess…

so, i can’t really say i regret what happened, although i wish i had taken steps to prevent such an occurrence. after the exam, which only took me an hour :P… actually, i finished in like 20 minutes, took a short nap, filled in the ones i had NO idea randomly, and then passed it in… anyways, i napped in the library to recover a bit, then got lunch at lower with justin. met with eugene to talk over the test… and “bragging” about how bad i did. man, i don’t know why i kept doing that… i think i needed to vent because it felt so uncharacteristic of myself to “slack off” like that, although i have many good, but perhaps not sufficient, reason for doing so. and, i DON’T like to justify my slacking off as a result of getting into dental school… because i doubt senioritis has kicked in. it didn’t happen during senior year of high school, when i actually had the MOST work out of all my years, and as i write this, i realize that i don’t want to repeat that again… i want to do well in my classes to prove to myself that i can. that i can be proud of the time and effort i’ve put into my studies, and i want to do this despite getting into dental school and being “set”. because that’s what i’m all about. i know my character and habits will carry me through where my skills and talents have brought me. without character, i will falter as i try to progress.

as soon as we finished lunch, dan, justin and i headed over to our physiology final, and i think it went fine. because i put in the time for studying and i’m happy that i had a fighting chance in answering the problems… though, after feeling exhausted from the first final, i’m not sure how well my mind was functioning :P

after the finals, i basically returned to my place and chilled. definitely needed to do that… i ordered the boston market catering for the shaw party later that night with the help of mark, and then napped until it was time for shawlidays! i dressed up in my ugly sweater =P and walked over with ryan to amber’s place. we went through conte, which was exciting because i never knew it was so complicated! and i saw the ice rink too :P then, we ended up on beacon street, and reservoir ave was right in front of us, so it was just a short walk from there…

as people strolled in, and the food finally arrived (i was a bit worried!), we all ate to our heart’s content :) and had some unbelievable delicious desserts baked by amber, and then it was time for the yankee swap! amir officiated the number drawing process (with a slight hiccup in a couple numbers, haha), and then we took group photos before the actual process started. for the most part, there was no stealing… we were just too curious to see what other people had! but, it wasn’t until the last one, when they realized what i had brought… a pooh bear! =) and… there was some tension, haha and it was stolen… but in the end, it worked out! or sort of… you just had to deal with it :P well, that was a fun night, and i got to bring home the leftovers from boston market =) i’m really glad the dinner worked out because i was nervous in “taking charge” of saying that we had to do boston market, but everyone differing opinions which seemed to get us nowhere, and i was able to foot the bill, and just let other people pay me back. =) tonight was a success!

finally, i went back to my place with the food, and then studied at eagle’s nest with steph. ok, i didn’t really study too much… i went to oconnell house to visit my son, kevin, and get some free hot chocolate! and then, i kinda just distracted steph from her studying… oops :P when i returned home, i thought i was gonna get some work done, but instead, i watched the ending of groundhog day with my roommates, and then washed dishes… as i cooked some rice, and ate some korean food =P that brought me to like 4AM… and then i had some great conversation with ryan through the night, and i’m so happy that he got a job!

oh right… i forgot to do work! i better not procrastinate these next two days… especially since i have a couple essays to do as well :/ here we go!

CORRECTION: after returning to my exam and checking which questions i got right, i somehow managed to get a 76! wow! i cannot believe it…i guessed on a lot of those questions :P

day 348

it is 430AM, and i feel frazzled for my two finals tomorrow… how did it get like this? i definitely underestimated the course load of this semester, especially with interviews… for some reason, i could not be “satisfied” with taking just 4 courses, and this has come back to bite me in the butt. poor decision…because part of me regrets not being able to take in as much as i could out of each class since i was genuinely interested in them! well, i’ve minimally studied for my 9AM exam, and i’ve done as much as i could for my physio exam right after…

anyways, my morning began at 10AM, but i awoke feeling exhausted… i ate breakfast and continued studying for my psych exam. the final was fine, though i did not feel the best, because i realized i was sick, despite just feeling very tired and congested :/ after the exam, i waited 20 minutes in line to mail a letter because there were so many people! i took a 2 hour nap, and felt VERY refreshed! then, i got dinner with hanyin, nick, and jv at el pelon, and then it was time for studying. i went to higgins with dan, and we basically studied from 9PM until 4AM… and i’m still not satisfied probably because i crammed :( oh well… i guess this is the best i can do, so i’ll take tomorrow as it is! 

day 347

today has definitely NOT been a productive study day… but entertaining nonetheless =)

began the morning by washing dishes….i like to introduce some order into my life before starting to study. then, steph came over for lunch, and we prepared and cooked the food, which was very healthy, as in lots of veggies. :P then, it was time to make care packages for the gajok, so jinah and i worked on them at her place, and then i decided to study in the 90 lounge. that was somewhat helpful, but i quickly got distracted because i’d much rather talk to people than study. :P and then it was time for dinner, so hanyin and i grabbed some food at lower. after a short period of food coma, i headed to higgins with dan, dropped off some care packages along the way, and “studied” at a special lab in higgins :)

at first, this seemed to be the ideal place to study! a secluded place where very few people knew where we were… then steph & jeannette came over for a study break to bring me their “friends,” phineas & ferb…whom i have eaten :P and justin came to study too! ok, i use study lightly as we just talked and sang, and watched youtube videos much more than study… but we had random spurts of productivity =) i’m very annoyed at my congestion… i hope i don’t get sick :/ and i’m still not worried about my exam tomorrow, though i haven’t been too diligent about studying… ugh. why can’t i focus?!

day 346

i’m definitely feeling the tiredness from the weekend… despite 7 hours of sleep, i awoke wanting much more. part of me feared that i was getting sick as well. but today was fine… except that the weather was deceptively cold, and while it was raining outside, there was a thin layer of ice on the ground! sadly, my dad slipped outside while getting the car :( but thankfully, nothing major happened. it does make me wonder why when such things happen, we get frustrated and upset. i totally understand emotionally why i feel embarrassed and angry when i trip and stuff, but it doesn’t make sense to me… especially if nobody saw. perhaps it’s because it’s something i don’t expect, or because it’s regrettable and i wish i could’ve avoided tripping up if i was just a bit more careful… a good reminder about what moves me from having peace.

sunday was great, though there’s TONS of stuff happening so soon… with christmas service & secret santa coming up… the church move… gosh and i have to deal with finals… but since i won’t be there again this friday, the youth are going to be in charge this time =) and i think karen will help too! whew, at least i don’t have to worry about that. and, most people seem to know who they have for secret santa and what they’ll get! i just hope everything works out…

an encouraging thing this morning was that a grandma came to me and told me how her granddaughter enjoys it when i lead worship…even though she doesn’t understand what i’m singing… haha. i loved hearing that, because it’s stuff like that, so out of the blue, that just uplifts my spirit, and it helps refocus me on another reason why i lead worship. it’s so interesting because at times, you can totally forget about the possible impact you can have on others.

after church, my sisters and i went to walmart to do some christmas shopping. i kinda got distracted because a tv was showing toy story 3 =P we found some gifts for our parents, but we realized that other things would have to be bought from amazon… oh well. then, i did laundry at home and then passed out for a solid 3 hours! that was totally unexpected, but needed… and then we had hot pot for dinner =) 

finally, karen and i returned back to BC, and i expected to go to study at the library around 10, but that definitely did not happen. i began cleaning my room because i hadn’t organized my place for some time, and i knew i could not study in a messy place (well at least my own side… i dont mind my roommate’s messiness). then after that, i worked on other side projects, i.e. emails for the christmas set and such, and that took SO much longer than i thought. probably because i let myself get distracted by my roommates =) but it was a good night, and i began studying by eating a HUGE bowl of cereal of special k fruit & yogurt that i bought from walmart =) i think i ate half the box, haha. oops. but yeah, i didn’t start till 3AM, and sadly, it hasn’t been as productive as i hoped. perhaps tomorrow will be a different story? :/