day 349

well, today will be a day worth remembering! it began with me feeling like… a badass. or more objectively, pretttty stupid, in retrospect. haha. i went into my philosophy final, sat down next to eugene, and told him, jae maeng, and dong that i studied an hour for this test. and, consequently, i reaped what i sowed :P i honestly failed that exam, by getting approximately half of the questions correct, and i am sure of this judgement because he told us to keep the booklet of questions when we left and gave us the answer key as well. gg! i got some wrong that i should’ve known and guessed to get some right… but, that didn’t make up the fact that i didn’t read 3 of the texts that were being asked about…

and, this was the first and hopefully the last time, i’ll ever do that. i hate the feeling of being unprepared because i always want to go into tests knowing that at least i’ve gone over everything and have a fighting chance in doing well… not in this case :/ though, i came to the realization that i just could not finish reading 3 texts in three hours and be able to take two finals back to back without sleep. and being somewhat sick. so i had to let go, which was very difficult for me, though i played it off cooly. i think that’s probably because i’ve drilled the hard work ethic into myself and pride myself in outworking others in terms of studying. that’s also why i’m very much introverted and tend to work by myself. for instance, i have a tendency to not trust my lab partners just because i think i can do a better job by myself, and have done so to put my mind at ease… and sadly, i recognize this as being unhealthy when done in excess…

so, i can’t really say i regret what happened, although i wish i had taken steps to prevent such an occurrence. after the exam, which only took me an hour :P… actually, i finished in like 20 minutes, took a short nap, filled in the ones i had NO idea randomly, and then passed it in… anyways, i napped in the library to recover a bit, then got lunch at lower with justin. met with eugene to talk over the test… and “bragging” about how bad i did. man, i don’t know why i kept doing that… i think i needed to vent because it felt so uncharacteristic of myself to “slack off” like that, although i have many good, but perhaps not sufficient, reason for doing so. and, i DON’T like to justify my slacking off as a result of getting into dental school… because i doubt senioritis has kicked in. it didn’t happen during senior year of high school, when i actually had the MOST work out of all my years, and as i write this, i realize that i don’t want to repeat that again… i want to do well in my classes to prove to myself that i can. that i can be proud of the time and effort i’ve put into my studies, and i want to do this despite getting into dental school and being “set”. because that’s what i’m all about. i know my character and habits will carry me through where my skills and talents have brought me. without character, i will falter as i try to progress.

as soon as we finished lunch, dan, justin and i headed over to our physiology final, and i think it went fine. because i put in the time for studying and i’m happy that i had a fighting chance in answering the problems… though, after feeling exhausted from the first final, i’m not sure how well my mind was functioning :P

after the finals, i basically returned to my place and chilled. definitely needed to do that… i ordered the boston market catering for the shaw party later that night with the help of mark, and then napped until it was time for shawlidays! i dressed up in my ugly sweater =P and walked over with ryan to amber’s place. we went through conte, which was exciting because i never knew it was so complicated! and i saw the ice rink too :P then, we ended up on beacon street, and reservoir ave was right in front of us, so it was just a short walk from there…

as people strolled in, and the food finally arrived (i was a bit worried!), we all ate to our heart’s content :) and had some unbelievable delicious desserts baked by amber, and then it was time for the yankee swap! amir officiated the number drawing process (with a slight hiccup in a couple numbers, haha), and then we took group photos before the actual process started. for the most part, there was no stealing… we were just too curious to see what other people had! but, it wasn’t until the last one, when they realized what i had brought… a pooh bear! =) and… there was some tension, haha and it was stolen… but in the end, it worked out! or sort of… you just had to deal with it :P well, that was a fun night, and i got to bring home the leftovers from boston market =) i’m really glad the dinner worked out because i was nervous in “taking charge” of saying that we had to do boston market, but everyone differing opinions which seemed to get us nowhere, and i was able to foot the bill, and just let other people pay me back. =) tonight was a success!

finally, i went back to my place with the food, and then studied at eagle’s nest with steph. ok, i didn’t really study too much… i went to oconnell house to visit my son, kevin, and get some free hot chocolate! and then, i kinda just distracted steph from her studying… oops :P when i returned home, i thought i was gonna get some work done, but instead, i watched the ending of groundhog day with my roommates, and then washed dishes… as i cooked some rice, and ate some korean food =P that brought me to like 4AM… and then i had some great conversation with ryan through the night, and i’m so happy that he got a job!

oh right… i forgot to do work! i better not procrastinate these next two days… especially since i have a couple essays to do as well :/ here we go!

CORRECTION: after returning to my exam and checking which questions i got right, i somehow managed to get a 76! wow! i cannot believe it…i guessed on a lot of those questions :P

cut to the heart…

cut to the heart…

day 313

surprisingly, i woke up without feeling very tired… and i made it to class on time! and the beginning was hilarious, as professor kreeft began: “I am God. Bow down to me.” Hahahahhaahaha. it was just so surprising! especially since i didn’t do the reading :P a very interesting morning, and it definitely kept my attention. and then he threw chalk at a student to demonstrate something…. but i kinda forgot. oops! 

after class, i stayed at mac with jae maeng, stephen, and eugene choi, and i got to meet new freshmen! gosh, i’ve come to realize that if i don’t want or make an effort to meet them, i probably would be too busy to randomly do so. :/ but i still got… like a month and a semester to go :P wow i hate reminding myself about how little time i have left. for some reason, many people have been doing that as well….

psych was boring as usual… then i did some elections committee interviews for new members and it was pretty quick! they didn’t have the swagga we were looking for sadly :/ headed back to the room, and discovered that dave barnes just released a new CHRISTMAS ALBUM.

why do all my favorite artists have to release christmas albums now…. i can’t even buy it because it’s too early! bah, but i really do want that christmas ornament… hahahahah. ok, and then i stumbled upon shane & shane’s new worship album, so i decided to pick that up instead. and i love it! some great new arrangements of songs acoustically and of course, their singing! =)

then i spent a lot of time working on calc, and only got through like half the problem set. wow, i didn’t expect it to be so time consuming! and that totally tired me out, so i took a nap, until it was time for ACF. i managed to get free dinner at eagle’s nest because there was a info session for China study abroad and they provided NHK :) ACF continued its talk about global poverty impact, and it was striking how in an article, we read that an atheist made the observation that christian missionaries are important in the development of poverty-stricken areas, and that they are more effective than NGOs and the like because motivation and transformation are addressed through the Christian faith… very encouraging to read! but, not sure what to do for donating still…

afterwards, it was time for studying. physio study group at lower, then librarying with justin & tiffany. i finally sent out a lot of the announcements/emails i needed to do this week, but i still haven’t started dev bio! i kinda got distracted showing justin youtube videos and eating snacks and listening to katy perry’s teenage dream over and OVER again. wow. i guess this means i have to play it on my guitar and sing it for fun to get it out of my system. grr.

day 299

what a great day… but i need to sleep soon!

woke up late (typical!… i guess :/) for my 9am class, but i headed over because i figured i should probably go to a lecture after missing the last three due to interviews and oversleeping, haha. i mean, i have a midterm next tuesday… yeah. it was interesting though because we finally talked about christianity, though i didn’t have time to read the chapter. strangely enough, the book seems to give an inaccurate account for christianity, or at least kreeft made it seem like that… i guess i’ll give it a read myself although i agreed with most of the points he made in class when i read that same passage… oh well. i got notes from stephen for all the lectures i missed, then i showered and ate lunch before heading off to psych. 

psych was INCREDIBLY boring. i realized it’s not even worth taking notes because he spends like 20 minutes on a slide without being relevant to the topic itself. awesome. i would’ve read the book during class but i was exhausted so i pretty much napped through class because he never got to the iclicker questions… ok i promise this is a good day. haha. actually, the most exciting part of the class was when randomly, a girl got up, screamed, I’m done with this!, and left in a whirlwind. wow, that totally woke me up, and the class as well… everyone was confused for a bit… before returning to a daze and complaining about the professor again… if only the professor actually changed his boring lecture ways :/

went to the library to get some work done, mailed a couple thank you letters, and headed back to pack and leave for the airport. on the way there, i met pete, so we took the T into government center because he was going to the celtics v heat game! and i’m SO happy that the celtics won. i thought i was being too naive to think that the heat trio would be dysfunctional… but i guess that was true! :P

got to the airport an hour before my flight left, everything went smoothly… i had a turkey burger for dinner :) it was pretty good, and a decent price, especially at the airport. on the flight to LAX, i basically knocked out for some time, and then proceeded to do work. gosh, i felt SO efficient! no tumblr… or facebook… or youtube to distract me :P and so i caught up on a lot of my reading for my philosophy midterm, and i managed to get some math homework done too! yeah i have a midterm this friday… boo. and those 6 hours went by QUICK! haha i wish i had more time because i could’ve got even more stuff done :)

after the flight, i met up with pastor jack, as he would be hosting me and sending me to USC tomorrow! man, it was great talking to him because it was encouraging to hear what was going on at his church, and i got to share with him about how the youth group and church was doing. plus, he’s coming to boston in a couple weeks for our welcome night, so i got to talk about a couple of needs that i think the youth are lacking in terms of being more missional and loving. and we also discussed this over hotpot! and then his wife annie, and a friend diana, came to join us, and it was just amazing to hear stories about how god has been working in their lives and church. SO encouraging! man, i wish i had more time to spend in LA because already i seem to love the people there :P maybe next time… now i gotta get some sleep because of my interview tomorrow! aaaaaand, i heard traffic is HORRIBLE… so it takes about an hour to get to USC from where i’m staying. oh well, it’s time to suit up!

gosh, this is in a comic strip? genius!

gosh, this is in a comic strip? genius!

day 250

exhausting first day of class, but it was pretty fun! haha, i almost overslept though. good thing i woke up and still had time to shower before going to class! i was a bit nervous for being in kreeft’s class, but the first lecture really didn’t seem frightening. it was actually intriguing, but i was kind of disappointed that we spent much of the time trying to define religion and at the end, he tells us that it’s too difficult to do so… i guess that’s a philosophical exercise :P but, i didn’t find that very fun. anyways, after talking to eugene, dong, and jae maeng who are all in the class as well, jae clearly expressed his distaste for kreeft while the rest of us didn’t think it was too bad. oh boy, i don’t think jae’s gonna like this class…

we then headed to mac, so i could buy a new iclicker… i can’t believe mine broke after 3 years already. saw my sister head into the bookstore too! we went to the reserves to do some studying, but we ended up just talking to dong, dave, and dan. i headed back to my room and met sean g with pegah. sean went back to the room with me to pick up damien’s wallet. then we headed off to class. psych was pretty boring. it felt so strange being in a lecture hall full of freshmen… and they were so easy to pick out :P they were introducing themselves to me, haha. 

after that, young jae and i went to the library, and i met jv along the way. so we went to grab lunch at crazy doughs. after that, i headed back to my room. i thought i was gonna take a nap, but i ended up calling my sisters to see how their first days in college and high school were :). i did some church stuff, then i helped ryan set up the tv! it may perhaps be too big for the room :/… we’ll let the room decide i guess?

after that, saeyoung called because he was around BC to visit! so i rounded up the acf fam (except sandy wasn’t around…) and we met at justin’s place. saeyoung brought cupcakes after his interview at a job, and they were pretty good :D actually, good enough that i felt full and couldn’t eat dinner, haha. then i went to the building meeting which i kept nodding off in…. and as a result, i couldn’t go to the acf welcome back meeting. i decided to hang out in 90 215, and that was pretty fun. um, jae maeng managed to rip his boxers… that was impressive. hahahaha. then, hanyin and i went to get late night for the first time in the semester! SO good :) and we talked a lot about stress for the upcoming year and such, and i just hope he doesn’t get so worried before stuff even happens! 

then, with a full stomach, i headed back to the room and played some guitar… i learned a bit of the wondergirls rainstorm remix because after hearing justin play it at summit, it is now stuck in my head! and i’ve learned a good deal of it :) oh shoot, i forgot to do homework though… haha. oh boy.

anyways, today was really fun because it was seeing a lot of old faces again. i guess that’s the best part because now i can recognize a lot of people on campus and so i can say hi to them. i’m not sure why that’s so exciting for me, but the weather was great too so whether it was a chat or just a greeting, i felt happy seeing so many people! ok, so now i gotta get some work done…i guess i have the freedom of leaving it till tomorrow ;)

oh and i’m realizing that while lots more “stuff” happened, i need to cut things down to make sure i write down the memories that i’d keep… so like obviously, i shouldn’t talk much about class, unless it was memorable. hmm… darn, this will require me to sort through my day.

day 123

i am listening to chopin as i write this, and it is splendid. i just want to fall asleep to music like this all the time. i.e. barcarolle, op.60; two nocturnes, op. 37; scherzo op. 39; ballade, op.23 (this all comes from a concert report that i’m relistening to… haha)

a good day despite the humidity outside. prof. gubbels spoke in place of chiles, since he went to chicago for the entire week for presentations. i thought it was particularly interesting that what i learned from gubbels last semester about contaminated water could be applied to the water break this past weekend…and now i’m freaked about giardia and entamoeaba histolytica. shoooooot. and of course, t. gondii. that’s SO ownage, and 25-50% of americans are affected. great. haha, but good thing it’s only an opportunistic infection! just don’t get AIDS or chemo or cancer or something that will suppress your immune system and you won’t die…erk. i’m never sure after coming out of a class about parasites whether i feel empowered by knowledge or freaking scared out of my pants because of what’s out there…

philosophy was interesting, filled with discussion about whether truth is relative, or even existent. i took the side of thinking that human beings do have meaning and intrinsic value, and how people should be viewed as unique, and that we have an innate desire to seek a larger purpose than our own….and i wonder if other people in my class understand that. some people argue that we’re just a bunch of chemicals but i freaking can’t give into such a “realistic” or depressing view of life. it just doesn’t make sense to me. though, i guess we could construct meaning out of our lives, but to keep this discussion short, i think desires in me always point to something greater (paraphrase of lewis)…

lunch was packed. so some people found a new table… :/ and some girls have TOO much money on their meal plan. i.e. freshmen girls. aha. ahah. now, that makes me wonder. it seems as if they are allowing the opportunity to be “hunted.” i mean, for their meal plan, obviously. so, perhaps this is actually a two-way relationship…or that they bring it upon themselves. anyways, we talked a lot about pokemon. and i always feel embarrassed because i have the last say in pokemon stats. no one else at the table can quote base stats like me from fire starts have base stats of 534. water: 530. grass: 526? so obviously, fire > all. but that’s besides the point. we talked about how certain people look like pokemon:

sam lee = gastly. jae maeng = voltorb. dan kim = bulbasaur. stephen = hitmonchan. jackie = vulpix/ninetales (that’s what she thinks she is…). angela = togepi. kevin = mr. mime. dasom = wobuffet. me = weedle. (what the…no way.) then, we got off track, trying to base it off of personality… i think someone made the comparison of sarang/shawnee as chansey…but neither of them are pregnant/fat…lol. so actually that would be an insult. haha

physics happened. then visited father mcgowan for stats help. then waited in lyons for my music appointment with prof. mcgrann. as i waited, i tried to find a practice room, but they were all taken…so i waited outside his office. that was a good idea though, because i happened to meet prof. lee and we talked! whew, i’m glad he likes me. i thought i was pretty annoying in his class because i had no idea what was going on most of the time…yet i managed to succeed in his class. it was a good talk, and then it was time for my music assignment.

since i can’t really talk abut the convo, which has some precious and MIND BLOWING ideas about beethoven’s string quartet, op. 130, it was just eye-opening to talk with prof mcgrann and see him point out so many things that i missed. or that i wouldn’t see even if just kept looking at it. because i had spent the previous night pouring over the score and listening to the music, but it is astounding how logical and precise beethoven is. i have a new and deep profound respect for beethoven. i wonder if people can compose like him nowadays…i want to try to incorporate some elements of his into my own style of writing…though i wonder how that’d work in pop/rock music. but, beethoven does remind me of david crowder*band. they are SO tricky in the way they formulate their albums, everything is deliberate to the point that it’s shocking. is it really coincidental that all their albums revolve around the idea of 3+4=7?…i like composers/artists who are tricky like that. who make me respect their ingenuity because i could not possibly achieve such wisdom and coolness…

took a long nap because i was falling asleep in class…possibly due to the heat. or lack of sleep last night. woke up to nick and sean’s super smashing…

got ready for the shaw banquet, and i got SUITED UP. SO FUN. and the banquet had some pretty good food, good especially since it was free! london broil & salmon were much better than stuff at lower :P and it was a good time overall. i think i was the only junior there though…oh well. maybe next year will be different. i liked it though, and it was pretty laid back. oh yeah, we had an “asian” table with me, nick, hanyin, kisuk, and hannah. actually, we tried to make it a cool table with only guys but then hannah snuck in. doh. jeb, tom and sean were at the table too, and i had fun talking with everyone there. pictures at the end were memorable, and i think everyones looking forward to the REAL banquet, though it’s unofficial at roggie’s. good planning/pubbing by maggie and everyone else! looking forward to it :)

went back to the room…and played strip super smash. because we could since we all had suits on. but then it took too long. and i was wasting precious time that could’ve been spent on work. so i left early…which was a good thing, haha. and spent the rest of the night at fulton. it was pretty productive even with people there: justin, eugene, justin oh, susie hwang, young, and eric. actually, it was probably unproductive for the trio when they started laughing: eric, young, eugene….i swear, when they start, it’s hard to stop them. they just keep laughing, and i think i’m glad i was kept out of the joke…haha. ok time for sleep. it’s 415. ooooooops.