day 245

i can’t believe i pulled an all nighter for the last day of summit… as interesting as it was, i definitely do need the wisdom in discerning between doing something new/unique for the sake of creating a memory and doing something out of lack of thinking… so possibly, it was the latter this time :P

i’m not sure how i felt about summit this year. i definitely liked it, but it sure was different with much larger numbers and all. right now, i can’t reflect on it because my mind is SO tired from that all nighter… 

well, the night basically consisted of playing a HUGE mafia game with BC and some tufts people. thankfully, i didn’t play but i helped dan kim narrate and pick out people to die/save/etc. it was a lot more interesting because it’s funny to see how people react when accused :P. then, i decided to  play some egyptians rats crew because the other card game seemed far too dangerous… spoons required people to jump over the table to grab cups in the middle, and some people got injured. many got their faces drawn as punishment for not grabbing a cup… ridiculous. thankfully, i did not participate. by then, it was 5 am, so i decided to take a shower and wait for the sunrise. but, sadly the sun was blocked by the trees, and we couldn’t see anything… the sky just changed colors and that wasn’t very interesting. :/

i took a quick 30 minute nap against a wall as a caution against sleeping past prayer meeting/breakfast, and i was surprisingly awake for prayer meeting! manuscript study went alright as well, and i think i enjoy it better when i contribute though i don’t like the fact that i have to speak in front of everybody to share. :/ anyways, i REALLY felt the effects of the allnighter during the closing worship, as i would keep zoning in and out and lose my balance slightly as i stood to sing. it was very strange for me because i felt very lightheaded. But, as soon as it was lunch, that seemed to fade away. 

we ate quickly, packed quickly, and left quickly! tufts people drove us to fitchburg, and we hung out at the train station for the 3pm train. it’s so sad that we couldn’t take a group picture like last time… :( anyways, i got off at south acton though possibly off the wrong door because the conductor seemed surprise that i was able to lift the latch hiding the stairs… yeah, not a good idea, haha. my parents picked me up, and i just spent the rest of the night/afternoon bumming around because i felt so tired! i feel like i’m in such a daze and all i want to do is sleep… but then again, another part of me thinks that i can be even MORE exhausted. and i hate that. i hate how i’ve bought into this “fact” that overexhaustion = more rewarding. it’s very twisted i think, perhaps its related to working hard and achieving things… but, if i want to change my sleep schedule, i know i got to get rid of this thought process!

day 242

today was exhausting! woke up a bit late for breakfast but still felt tired… manuscript study was interesting though i didn’t contribute because either i felt prideful and kept trying to fight thoughts of criticizing other people’s comments and of thinking myself better… or i felt tired. so, not the greatest morning for me, but i really needed that 3 hour silent retreat because that allowed me to air my thoughts and frustrations with god as i walked for an hour on a path. i guess i should’ve napped but time managed to pass quickly… i’m definitely an introvert… i treasure and even prefer times away from large groups.

after the silent retreat, i went to the prayer track and it was surprisingly insightful! i can’t wait to bring back some new ideas on prayer for the youth group.

dinner was amazing with meatloaf!  and, i won two games of knockout :P i enjoyed campus time tonight because mako, clyde, joonhak, kisuk, and hayeon shared their own perspective of how ACF has been up till now. and it’s amazing to see how things have changed and how previous years had invested into ACF. and now, we’re called to be torchbearers, as this would be Mako’s last year here at BC. I’m excited for this year though, i think amazing things will happen!

played catchphrase and guitar before going to sleep. i feel that summit is helping me correct my bad eating and sleeping habits, but i definitely need to sleep better!

day 241

man, i leave so many things for the last minute, whether it’s printing photos at Walmart yesterday night right before 9 or sending out the setlist the night before. how frustrating because i know it burdens others, but i hate the fact that when i leave it for the last minute, i rush & forget key details. anyways, i stayed up until 3 am last night, trying to get stuff done and finally, writing in karen and matt’s books… why do i do this to myself?

anyways, i managed to wake without feeling horrible despite the lack of sleep. i got dressed and did some final packing but again, because i didn’t prepare, i forgot stuff. good thing i was able to come back home after church to pick up my cell phone charger.

church was fun and it would be the last sunday for matt. we finally gave them their senior gift books, and they seemed to love them! i can’t wait to see matt for christmas break.

after church, we had some time to go back home, so i did some packing and even though i was in a time crunch, i decided to go to guitar center to buy some stuff on sale. what a BAD decision. because of that, i missed the south acton train at 4:25, and i had to get my parents to drive me all the way to fitchburg. what a hassle, and this is all because i decided to leave things for the last minute! lesson learned… i hope. thankfully, i got to the station before the train arrived, and i was able to see everyone! i’m so glad my parents and sisters were so patient with me. i think its times like these when i truly realize how love can be patient.

it was fun seeing everyone and chilling at toah nipi. gosh, it’s so crowded! this is the largest summit ever, and bc probably brought the most kids. i played some ping pong and basketball and we listened to a message and LOTS of announcements. then, we had some campus time and that was pretty interesting but it was LONG. 

i finally went back to the room to shower, take out my contacts, but after spending 20 minutes on my right eye with no success, i went to my left eye and took it out on the first try. what?! so i gave it a couple more shots, but i think i lost my contact in my right eye. it must’ve fallen out when i ran into grace during basketball… haha so i guess THAT’S what knockout means. :D good thing my eye didn’t get knocked out… anyways, i’d much rather lost the contact than wake up tomorrow with an eye disease. most people told me that the couldn’t find it and hopefully it’s not behind my eye or something. i don’t feel any pain aside from all that prodding around with my finger.

Oh, and i met john at toah nipi! i hope he likes it too especially with the tufts group. it’s gonna be a great week at summit, and i totally forgot, but i finished donald miller’s father fiction on friday!

it was good, but it didn’t seem to carry the same impact as the other two i had read. possibly because i really can’t relate to being fatherless…

and i’m envious that my sister has NO trouble with contacts. seriously?! she got them out of her eyes on the first try and for me, it’s been a week and i’m slowly getting the hang of it… spending just 10 minutes.

haha whatever. i’ll put my contacts worries aside and look forward to tomorrow!