We judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions

Ian Percy

(via theunresolved7th)


Joshua Harris, Boy Meets Girl.


Joshua Harris, Boy Meets Girl.

day 318

weird. it’s 3:18AM, as i blog about day 318…

today was a great day! i felt pumped for sunday, and was expecting great things =) english service was relevant though i realized that pastor jack was definitely rushed during his talk. but, the good thing was that the youth decided to stay after and listen to him during the mandarin service, and he expanded on his ideas, which i thought were important in how he talked about the way christians move from a slave and servant mentality & lifestyle to a son/daughter mentality & lifestyle. i think i waver at times in between the son and servant lifestyle… and i have to make sure i don’t stay in that servant lifestyle. also, worship this morning went SO well! i was so surprised because our practice didn’t go as well as i hoped, but i guess that’s the anointing! =) man, that was pretty amazing because we seemed to hit all the cues as a band, and we meshed really well. when we noticed that we were playing in the wrong key… i think kaleb was playing the wrong song, haha, we were quick to adapt! i’m so proud of how well we did because it’s even stuff like this that encourages me because i think when worship is done in a musically proficient way, it prevents the congregation from getting distracted by the mistakes or awkward moments :P

however, this was going to be a long day… right after service, i rounded up the youth because we had to send julia off to arizona! i had just discovered this news on friday and she had to leave on tuesday!! NOOOO. she had meant to leave the year before and we threw her a going away party, but she managed to return because things didn’t really work out for her :P but… this time doesn’t seem to be the case because her mom found a job at arizona as well. bummmmmer. but, we showed her love by writing her words of encouragement and ending with a hug circle! =) as we neared the time that she actually had to go, there were many tears… especially from my sister and her friends because well…. they grew up together! and, they were just starting freshman year together… so it was so bittersweet to see her go… but at least finally, she could be reunited with her family since her father and brother were already at arizona for the past year or so.

man, change is inevitable. and it’s painful sometimes… already, our youth group has already seen people come and go, and it’s always the ones that leave unexpectedly that are so heart wrenching… it was such a bummer to see esther & debbie leave at the beginning of the semester and to have julia leave now… :/ but, at the same time, the youth group has been blessed with new people! it’s been great having rich, logan, julie, & stacey as part of the group, and we really do love their company! it’s just that… having invested so much into relationships, and to have them just disappear! (well not that dramatic… there’s skype & facebook :P) there’s just that emptiness that requires time to mellow out… definitely a bummer. :/

after church, i headed back to get some taco bell for lunch/dinner… then i was driven back to BC for a couple meetings. went to a very long kairos meeting….some delays :/ but very rewarding :P and then, gajok meeting! fun stuff. i was very much joking about disciplining my children. sorta…. then i had a long conversation with saeyoung!!! i let him know of the recent news, and again, he poured a lot of wisdom into me about relationships/dating, classes, and the future. it felt so good to reconnect with him and to share about all that had happened this past semester! i’m really glad to have set aside time to chat, and i hope he goes to seminary in boston :D

finally, i realized that i was just gonna fall asleep in the library, i headed back to my room to unpack my stuff and organize. then steph came over, and we talked about “the first date.” it was very much entertaining to have my roommate nick and his girlfriend maggie share their experience. haha, their banter is SO amusing :P then we had to go study… because we realized that we were too good at putting off work… and so, the study lounge has been productive so far! except, i’ve seemed to finish all the “other stuff” except for studying for my test on wednesday… oops. and i realized i left my math binder at home. doh!

day 316

awoke to my alarm, but my body wouldn’t let me get up… so i slept through my first class. i guess i really did need it. but then i woke up startled because i realized that i had something due at noon and it totally slipped my mind! thankfully, i got that all done, though it did take away from studying… i headed to the library to see hee young as she was really stressed about the test. i’m not that great at helping people when it comes to studying… and i tend not to study when it’s close to the test because i feel like either i know it or i don’t and stressing out would just make me forget more… then again, it was some good review in going over the stuff with her because sadly, i realized i didn’t retain all that much the night before :P

got lunch at the rat and met up with justin. i guess shawnee, josh, sarang and other girls at the table (i don’t think i knew who they were…) just found out about the relationship. haha, poor shawnee. well, at least she’s someone who doesn’t jump to conclusions… hmmm… then justin & i took our test! it was surprisingly long. i’m not sure how well i did but i had to use the entire time given… which was not ideal for me, because i would’ve liked to check over what i wrote. :/ but it’s done!

after the test, i quickly packed, then headed over to 90 to tell nick the good news because he had only heard it through the grapevine :P it was kinda awkward though because i usually look through his window to see if he’s in his room… but as soon as i did that, i realized someone was looking at me doing that… good thing nick did show up in the window to demonstrate that i wasn’t just creeping around, but it was still awkward because the person who saw me also swiped me into 90. faaaaail. :P haha, it was a good talk, though i wished i stayed longer… i’m not sure if everyone would want to follow my “plan” of action, though it wasn’t really a plan to wait so long for it to happen. haha, but now it’s got the guys thinking about dating… oh boy. as much as i’m glad i’ve “inspired” them, seriously…??? oh boy.

headed to reservoir, saw jeannette on the bus, and met up with dan to catch the T. we also saw jack there, and we chatted too! he was going to longwood for research while dan was heading to his volunteer. dan & i talked a lot about dating…what else? :P then we parted ways at north station. i got a coffee coolatta and donuts, and waited for stacey to arrive because she was coming to the rofl welcome night! well, she kinda has to because the speaker is her pastor… and she’s been coming for the past few weeks, so it’d be awkward if she didn’t. lol

wow, even with coffee i still passed out on the T. and it was a bit disorienting waking up. but at home, we had some great chinese food: lao sichuan! then we got ready for the welcome night!!

overall, it was a HUGE success! aside from one hitch, i am SO proud of the youth because they really put in the effort to invite their friends and make everything work. i just talked and made fun of myself during announcements :P, but i think the youth did an AMAZING job in making sure their friends were comfortable. =) they helped facilitate discussions as well, and i really think that pastor jack lee was very relevant to a group of youth from 7th to 12th. i think we had about 50-60 youth there! SO awesome, because there were a lot of new people that i didn’t see before, and many of them were from new places, i.e. andover & westford. oh, and regina brought some exchange students too! like from morocco and japan. i can’t believe it! i’m really glad that we kept to the schedule (though that’s more of a self-accomplishment because i tend to get carried away in these situations…), and that some youth stayed after to talk with pastor jack too! i also got to meet pastor jack’s team: sarah wang (the youth pastor for harvest impact) and aaron chambers! aaron shared his testimony of how God spoke to him, despite past problems, and while i don’t think anyone in the room could identify with the drug problems he’s had (thankfully!), i think he got the idea across. and of course, we ended with a circle hug, and that ended the welcome night on a high note! with snacks too =) 

i think i’m just really glad that this year, instead of just having a lot of fun games, we tried to make it more similar to what we do on friday nights: games, worship, prayer, & bible study/discussion. and people were still receptive! and, so it made it feel less… deceptive. haha. because last year seemed as if people should come just to play games! and, that’s not what we wanted to say at all. i think our mindset this time was much better, because we constantly prayed for the event as it came up, so again, i am SO proud of them! tomorrow is gonna be a conference setting, and while i don’t think many of them will be back tomorrow (everyone’s so busy…), it’s more for training the youth to become leaders, which makes me EXCITED.

now about that slight hitch… it was a slight error in planning rides for people. basically, i should’ve listened better to my sister because i only heard her and totally forgot what she said… and it made me feel so dumb. and i probably could’ve thought this situation out better if i had just sat down to think instead of constantly walking around and making everything was in order. a learning experience indeed. i still pride myself in thinking that i know what to do in such situations, but obviously, in hindsight, advice is always appreciated and humility is a requirement. but, at least everyone got back safely, though a bit later than planned, and still a success! even more so, the parents were so helpful in accommodating our needs =) SO happy!

getting home, i got to talk with pastor jack and his team. and it was pretty cool and scary to see how they were being called to plant a church in hollywood! but it was late, so we all headed off to bed. but, before my parents went to sleep, i thought i should let them know that i had a girlfriend now!

and…it was slightly different from the response i got so far from my friends at BC. but, now that i think of it, possibly more helpful. i think they’re always cautious in making sure that i don’t just go through these things without thinking. and, part of me just wants to defend myself: “but i’ve waited for a year, i think i can handle it…” but, perhaps not. in the sense that, this is entirely new, and i don’t want to rush it. i don’t think i necessarily will, but i realize that i can’t be objective as hard as i try, like feelings aside, because i’m in the situation while my parents aren’t. but, my parents approve as long as i exercise wisdom and seek God first, which is sound advice =). i think that actually helped set my mind better because as much as i’m happy with all the congratulations, i really do wonder, what’s the next step? and my mom says it all begins with prayer. even though we’re dating, it’s still a process of discovering who we are individually and as a couple, and i guess that just reminds me of this:

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires (Song of Solomon 2:7)

so i do have the blessing of my parents, though it’s not in the form of the ecstatic happiness like my friends :P, and they told me even my grandma was wondering whether i had a girlfriend… haha. and so my family knows! and it’s been a great day =)

I don’t know which is worse…that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low. — Hobbes (via calvinnhobbes)
You Know, sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take the time to enjoy where we are. Days go by and we hardly notice them. Life becomes a blur. Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we’ve made. But it’s too late to change anything. — Calvin (via calvinnhobbes)
The reality is that mistakes are inevitable. Fortunately, these same mistakes will provide you with important lessons to help guide you to a brighter future. Accept. Apologize when necessary. Adapt. — Note to self. (via gabebondoc)