day 349

well, today will be a day worth remembering! it began with me feeling like… a badass. or more objectively, pretttty stupid, in retrospect. haha. i went into my philosophy final, sat down next to eugene, and told him, jae maeng, and dong that i studied an hour for this test. and, consequently, i reaped what i sowed :P i honestly failed that exam, by getting approximately half of the questions correct, and i am sure of this judgement because he told us to keep the booklet of questions when we left and gave us the answer key as well. gg! i got some wrong that i should’ve known and guessed to get some right… but, that didn’t make up the fact that i didn’t read 3 of the texts that were being asked about…

and, this was the first and hopefully the last time, i’ll ever do that. i hate the feeling of being unprepared because i always want to go into tests knowing that at least i’ve gone over everything and have a fighting chance in doing well… not in this case :/ though, i came to the realization that i just could not finish reading 3 texts in three hours and be able to take two finals back to back without sleep. and being somewhat sick. so i had to let go, which was very difficult for me, though i played it off cooly. i think that’s probably because i’ve drilled the hard work ethic into myself and pride myself in outworking others in terms of studying. that’s also why i’m very much introverted and tend to work by myself. for instance, i have a tendency to not trust my lab partners just because i think i can do a better job by myself, and have done so to put my mind at ease… and sadly, i recognize this as being unhealthy when done in excess…

so, i can’t really say i regret what happened, although i wish i had taken steps to prevent such an occurrence. after the exam, which only took me an hour :P… actually, i finished in like 20 minutes, took a short nap, filled in the ones i had NO idea randomly, and then passed it in… anyways, i napped in the library to recover a bit, then got lunch at lower with justin. met with eugene to talk over the test… and “bragging” about how bad i did. man, i don’t know why i kept doing that… i think i needed to vent because it felt so uncharacteristic of myself to “slack off” like that, although i have many good, but perhaps not sufficient, reason for doing so. and, i DON’T like to justify my slacking off as a result of getting into dental school… because i doubt senioritis has kicked in. it didn’t happen during senior year of high school, when i actually had the MOST work out of all my years, and as i write this, i realize that i don’t want to repeat that again… i want to do well in my classes to prove to myself that i can. that i can be proud of the time and effort i’ve put into my studies, and i want to do this despite getting into dental school and being “set”. because that’s what i’m all about. i know my character and habits will carry me through where my skills and talents have brought me. without character, i will falter as i try to progress.

as soon as we finished lunch, dan, justin and i headed over to our physiology final, and i think it went fine. because i put in the time for studying and i’m happy that i had a fighting chance in answering the problems… though, after feeling exhausted from the first final, i’m not sure how well my mind was functioning :P

after the finals, i basically returned to my place and chilled. definitely needed to do that… i ordered the boston market catering for the shaw party later that night with the help of mark, and then napped until it was time for shawlidays! i dressed up in my ugly sweater =P and walked over with ryan to amber’s place. we went through conte, which was exciting because i never knew it was so complicated! and i saw the ice rink too :P then, we ended up on beacon street, and reservoir ave was right in front of us, so it was just a short walk from there…

as people strolled in, and the food finally arrived (i was a bit worried!), we all ate to our heart’s content :) and had some unbelievable delicious desserts baked by amber, and then it was time for the yankee swap! amir officiated the number drawing process (with a slight hiccup in a couple numbers, haha), and then we took group photos before the actual process started. for the most part, there was no stealing… we were just too curious to see what other people had! but, it wasn’t until the last one, when they realized what i had brought… a pooh bear! =) and… there was some tension, haha and it was stolen… but in the end, it worked out! or sort of… you just had to deal with it :P well, that was a fun night, and i got to bring home the leftovers from boston market =) i’m really glad the dinner worked out because i was nervous in “taking charge” of saying that we had to do boston market, but everyone differing opinions which seemed to get us nowhere, and i was able to foot the bill, and just let other people pay me back. =) tonight was a success!

finally, i went back to my place with the food, and then studied at eagle’s nest with steph. ok, i didn’t really study too much… i went to oconnell house to visit my son, kevin, and get some free hot chocolate! and then, i kinda just distracted steph from her studying… oops :P when i returned home, i thought i was gonna get some work done, but instead, i watched the ending of groundhog day with my roommates, and then washed dishes… as i cooked some rice, and ate some korean food =P that brought me to like 4AM… and then i had some great conversation with ryan through the night, and i’m so happy that he got a job!

oh right… i forgot to do work! i better not procrastinate these next two days… especially since i have a couple essays to do as well :/ here we go!

CORRECTION: after returning to my exam and checking which questions i got right, i somehow managed to get a 76! wow! i cannot believe it…i guessed on a lot of those questions :P